Mick Jagger's dulcet tones, ably backed by the Strolling Bones, pumps from the 10-speaker Bose sound system, cranked up to 11. Charlie Watts' syncopated drumbeat pounds through the subwoofer...
"Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste."
At 250km/h reality is a pinhole in the distant fabric. The horizon rushes towards us, one kilometre every 15 seconds, bearing down with the relentless aggression of Schwarzenegger on steroids. At 70 metres per second gentle undulations become unsettling crests, downward slopes are drop-offs, and one mistake will be our last. The unearthly drumbeat continues, Jagger gives another clue:
"I've been around for a long, long year, stole many a man's soul and faith."
The Porsche continues to accelerate. It took just 5 seconds and one slick gearchange to reach 100km/h, another 12 seconds and two more gears and we doubled that. It's 10 seconds later, the standing kilometre fled before us just 3 seconds ago, the next one will be vanquished in 10 more, and the Porsche is still accelerating. And the music, that insidious drumbeat, reverberates throughout my body:
"I was around when Jesus Christ had his moment of doubt and pain."
At 250km/h respect is earned. Ultimate faith in a machine designed and built in a country thousands of kilometres across the sea. Far from home, at 250km/h this Porsche is right at home. Slightly nervous across the scarred bitumen, perhaps skittish over the bumps and hollows, but far from unsure, never unsafe. The massive 18 inch Pirellis grip the road ferociously, superglued to the blacktop. Hurricane-force winds scream over the Porsche's svelte lines compressing the suspension, pushing the body harder onto the road. Into the road. The Stones play on:
"Made damn sure the Pilot washed his hands, and sealed his fate."
The digital speedo cracks 265, and so do my nerves. Release the accelerator, start squeezing on the brake pedal. Speed washes off briskly, the 911 dropping through 200 to 150 as the huge four-piston calipers bite voraciously into the vented discs. Slide back two gears into third and hard on the accelerator to enter the sharpish right hander. My smile broadens and Jagger continues:
"Pleased to meet you... hope you guessed my name."
265km/h will have to do for now. Bugger. We still had another gear to go. Porsche claim 285km/h for the standard 911 Carrera. We believe them. But we thought we'd check, nonetheless. See for ourselves, you know... investigative journalism and all that...
This Devil asks no sympathy, only respect. Respect and a willingness - a hunger - to explore your combined potential.
Porsche revised its flagship 911 range late last year, with a raft of modifications mainly to the aerodynamics and engine. External differences on the base model 911 Carrera tested here include the adoption of the 911 Turbo headlights across the range which have been incorporated into a redesigned front end.
Changes to front end aerodynamics and the air intakes not only reduce front end lift by 25 percent, they also increase cooling airflow by 15 percent. The additional flexible spoiler lips mounted underbody ahead of the front wheels also modify airflow beneath the 911, and decrease rear lift by 40 percent.
The Carrera's 3.4-litre flat six cylinder engine has been enlarged to 3.6 litres, and the addition of Porsche's VarioCam variable intake valve timing taking power out to 235kiloWatts, and torque up 20Newton-metres to 370Nm. Not exactly figures that'll blow your mates off their stools down the pub, but this is a car you can't really understand on paper.
Six cylinders, less power than a HSV V8 and a price tag three times as much. What gives? The HSV is a performance car based on, and therefore limited by, a fleet street sedan body, chassis, and engine.
The Porsche 911, however, is hindered by no such humble beginnings. From the moment of conception every panel, every weld is placed knowing full well the result is an uncompromised performance coupe. Forget rear legroom and luggage capacity, focus instead on cornering grip and braking ability.
That said, you can still fit a couple of overnight bags under the bonnet, as we did, or quite a bit more in the rear seat. Put a couple of adults back there, though, and the curses will ring long and loud. Kids should be fine, the younger the better, as headroom and legroom is sparse at best.
No, the best seat in this house is behind the wheel. Turn the key and the rear mounted flat six barks sharply into life. At idle the engine burbles away quietly, a slightly choppy note that's just itching for a thirst quenching burst of premium unleaded.
The Porsche is quite a docile beast around town, more than capable of doddering around at suburban paces in any of the six forward ratios. Any extra prodding on the throttle, even in sixth at as little as 50km/h, will bring a sleepy surge of acceleration.
Steering is firm without being heavy, the pedals have a similar tactile feel. The throttle is rather sensitive, and a clumsy foot could provoke a surging jerkiness over bumps and potholes. At city speeds the 911 rides very firmly. Cats eyes lane markers thump noisily through under the Pirellis, and potholes and road ripples can tug slightly on the steering wheel.
Remember, this is a performance car... luxury shoppers chasing a cloud nine ride should definitely look elsewhere.
The seats initially feel flatter than expected, without the usual sporstcar seat's large side bolsters. This aids comfort on short around-town trips, though we expected it to be a problem when the road got twisty. It wasn't, not in the least.
The cabin is quite spartan, with a distinct lack of things that go beep, click and twang. This back to basics approach is a real relief after the 'mission control' style dashboards on other luxury sports cars.
The 911 includes a single CD player with four smart little CD storage slots, climate control air conditioning, electric windows, mirrors and seats, remote central locking and cruise control. Safety freaks will be comforted by passive safety features like two front and two side airbags and seat belt pretensioners, and active safety features like antilock brakes and traction control (automatic versions only).
Buyers have the choice of a five-speed tiptronic automatic with steering wheel mounted rocker switches, or a six speed manual. We tested both versions, and reckon they're equally appealing, with the decision resting heavily on your intended use.
For us the manual is the pick. No competition. Changing gears is fun. Heel and toe downchanges in a sports car as accomplished, as polished as the 911 are a rewarding experience. Fire hard into a corner, burying the brakes deep into the discs, rolling your foot to match revs as you guide the gearlever back a ratio is a sweet, sublime dance. And the intuitive relative positions of the pedals means it doesn't take Nureyev's dextrous feet to do it.
The extra ratio in the manual gearbox means it accelerates slightly harder than the tiptronic auto (5.0sec vs 5.5sec to 100km/h), and the enjoyment therefore, is that much more intense. But if your intentions for the 911 lean more towards city driving than country blasts, then the manual may be an uneccessary complication.
The tiptronic is still astoundingly quick on the twisty stuff, the missing pedal allowing left foot braking for those who can. Porsche's fly-by-wire throttle means the power cuts when you brush the brakes - and we don't like that at all - but removing the need to swap pedals under your right foot means you can brake later into corners, and accelerate earlier out of them.
When it comes right down to it, we can think of no earthly reason not to unreservedly recommend the Porsche 911. Assessed against its intended function, design and performance it comes up trumps every time. Which is why it won the MOTOR magazine performance car of the year award when first launched in 1998. Now, with a bigger, more powerful engine and better aerodynamics it's even better.
If you've got the money, and you want the fastest, most rewarding sports car under $200,000, then buy one. But ultimately we reckon there's two kinds of Porsche buyer: Those that want to drive it; and those who want to be seen in it. If you fall into the first category, get the manual, if you're the latter, get the tiptronic auto. Either way, you win.