As one of the most affordable methods to get a brand-new car with dihedral doors – you know, the ones that hinge up and out and affect people's deportment in odd ways – the McLaren 650 S on test starts at $441,500, more for the Spider. On top of the avian-inspired doors you get a twin-turbo V8 engine worth 478kW, gorgeous leather seats and ceramic composite brakes. And how does it go? Like the clappers.
Scything along a ridge at the southernmost tip of Australia's Great Dividing mountain range, I'm laughing uncontrollably. Not loudly, but I can't stop.
That's because the McLaren 650 S's boosted V8 growling rather menacingly behind me provides the sort of thrust I've never felt before in a road car. It's so intense it almost becomes surreal.
And the fact it belches flames on the overrun when the exhausts are hot is a neat party trick.
So I chortle some more, tap the shift paddle and the explosive power propels me towards the next apex at scary velocities, almost but not quite quelling the laughter via intense g-forces.
Peak power of 478kW hits the rear axle at 7250rpm, but there's still plenty of shove up to the 8500rpm redline. While this 3.8-litre V8 loves to rev, it's the torque, 678Nm at 6000rpm, that really claims you as your abdomen partially melts into the leather and Alcantara sports seats at wide open throttle.
The steering is pinpoint sharp and provides feedback that virtually creates a immediate subliminal map of the road under you, augmenting the signal one's eyes send the brain. It is a gorgeous car to drive.
The sensations fuse with rolling hills, acres of vines and huge, dark, globular storm clouds in the distance, and I'm helpless to do anything but smile broadly.
And the ceramic composite brakes? They threaten suck the air right out of my lungs at full stomp!
Despite the mammoth stopping power they have scads of feel and the ultra-wide tyres – not to mention the additional downforce from the automatic air-brake rear wing – ensure that decelerating smoothly but forcefully comes naturally.
It's a recipe for driving brilliance and as the first McLaren I've driven, I'm hugely impressed.
There's an effortlessness about this car that makes driving it fast (outrageously fast) seem too easy. But for all that it's still undeniably satisfying. I continue to giggle as the McLaren punches out of corners with a vehemence that is initially alarming, but soon becomes addictive.
The 650 S's performance threshold, and more importantly its accessibility, is a testament to McLaren's engineering masterminds who have created a super sports car that pushes all the right physical and emotional buttons.
My partner in crime for this twin-test, which involves the McLaren 650 S Coupe and Spider (convertible), Nadine Armstrong, is no stranger to automotive royalty. She owns a race-ready Porsche 911 and after chasing me along the sinuous roads around the Yarra Valley, she's equally rapt.
"From standstill or while rolling, the pace is nothing short of stonking.
"Better still, it's composed and smooth – and it's that level of obedience that creates great confidence in the McLaren's on road manners," she enthuses.
Armstrong spent most of the test in the bright orange Spider, the Volcano Orange paint job a cool $11,380 option, but both have similar performance figures, including an astonishing 0-100km/h in a claimed 3.0 seconds.
Last time we tested the McLaren 650 S hardman Bruce Newton managed 3.2sec on the test strip, suffice to say it's a preposterously fast car.
The Spider is a little heavier than the coupe at 1370kg, versus 1330kg, and takes slightly longer to reach 160km/h (5.8sec versus 5.7) but in terms of dynamics both vehicles feel glued to the road.
There's a cat's whisker more steering feel in the Coupe but with both based around a carbon-fibre tub, gifted with low centres of gravity and generating huge grip fore and aft from the Pirelli P Zero Corsa tyres (235/30 R19 front , 305/30 R20 rear), it's difficult to pull away from one or the other.
But it's not all sunshine and rainbows.
"The price tag – this is starts at $505,750 but with a few options and $40,000 worth of on-road costs, it's just shy of $590,000," notes Armstrong.
"The reversing camera image is rubbish, in-cabin storage is pitiful and getting in and out isn't always easy. But in all honesty, that's just nit-picking. It's a supercar. That is has cup holders is a miracle."
The McLaren 650 S Spider's metal roof offers good weather protection (as we later discovered) and is fast to fold but a little loud as the servos whine. And as Armstrong points out, the low slung seats of the McLaren "softened the impact of a potentially bad day".
"Even at freeway speeds, the [hair]'do survived. The top closes in just 15 seconds, so you'll never be caught out."
I merely nod in accord, as if I know all too well what it's like to have long blonde locks.
Then, two things happen in quick succession that kick me in the guts, pump me up, then beat me back down again, precisely in that order.
Despite the automotive finery around me – two McLarens and an AMG 'support' car – a sudden feeling of dread appears in the pit of my stomach.
The police roll past… "Keep going!" I urge. Then they turn in pull to a stop.
Surely we're done for. These guys will pin something on us.
A pair of police officers step out of the car, one of them eyes the crew, the other saunters over and I can't help but ask, "Is there a problem officer?"
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst, there's a lump in my throat that threatens to initiate hyperventilation... You don't want to know how many forms we have to sign to collect cars like these.
"No, I just want to have a look at your car, mate," he says without ever looking me in the eye.
"It's lovely. We might try and get one ourselves."
And with that oxygen re-fills my lungs as though I've broken the surface of the ocean after diving deep to avoid peril – a hail of bullets or perhaps an explosion. The heart palpitations ease and I begin answering the questions that every other person – car lover or not – has been asking for the past 24 hours.
What is it; how much is it; how fast is it; who are you; how can I get your job?
Fear is replaced by victory, until Armstrong walks over after the coppers leave: "The orange one is busted."
The engine starts but it won't go into gear, and the open roof refuses to close. Encroaching thunderclouds?
Not good. I check the rain radar. The colour drains out of my face…
And we haven't even finished filming yet!
With McLaren engineers en route, the warning message on the dash reads "park brake error" then "stability control warning, contact McLaren service". Things are not looking good.
But the Gods are smiling on us this day, because after 30 minutes the problems disappear. It's as if they never happened [Ed: please see diagnosis below]. I start to laugh again, but for very different reasons.
And then we're back on the sinuous roads, driving perhaps a smidgen more sedately than before our encounter with the police and the ghost in the machine, but it's still an incredible thrill driving machines like these.
As the light wanes and the rain clouds rumble overhead, and we switch the cars back from 'sport' to 'normal' mode, steering the British supercars back towards the city, it becomes clear just how user-friendly these exotics are in peak hour traffic.
With one of the best windscreen wipers ever, a huge single arm that clears water beautifully (and elegantly) and the seven-speed dual clutch gearbox diligently and smoothly swapping gears for me, it's a lot easier to pilot in cruddy conditions than I expected.
Okay, so it is low, and rather wide, and doing head checks and lane changes in heavy rain on the highway can be puckering at the best of times, but otherwise it's smooth sailing.
"Power and performance aside, for now, one of the most surprising things about the McLaren is how easy it is to drive," concurs Armstrong when we arrive back at motoring.com.au HQ.
There's room for hand luggage in the front trunk (frunk), push button adjustment of the suspension and all the switchgear is neat and tidy.
"Move beyond the initial intimidation, and the McLaren is a most accommodating companion. Thanks to modern technology, you could actually use this baby as your everyday drive," she opines.
Although the McLaren's don't attract quite as much as attention as the Lamborghini duo we tested a couple of months prior, they certainly turn heads. And when those dihedral doors swing open, jaws drop and silence descends.
"It's a thrilling ride from the moment the engine starts to the final dimming of the lights. Top down, wind in my hair and insane V8 turbo power at the ready, I am a rockstar. I can't stop smiling, my cheeks hurt!" laughs Armstrong.
I nod in agreement.
"The McLaren really owns its unique supercar physique too. Onlookers know it's not a Ferrari or Lambo… What then? Must be something special -- and it is," she remarks.
Those with experience in automotive exotica will argue the Italians have more heart, more soul than the modern day McLaren, and maybe they're right? I didn't feel quite as 'superstar' in this compared to the Lamborghini Huracan.
But if money was no object, this is the supercar I would choose. It's difficult to quantify why, because the competition is so strong, but anything that makes me this happy and lets me go that fast?
Yes thanks.
UPDATED: George Biggs, Head of Sales & Operations, McLaren Asia Pacific provided the below diagnosis of the fault we observed during our test, which occurred after the car had sat for a period of time with its lights, etc, on during our video shoot.
"Given the length of time that car was left in this state, the battery had run flat by the time the team went to restart the engine. In the McLaren 650S, the vehicle’s electronics are sophisticated enough to allow the one thing that can rectify the problem (the engine) to start, thus activating the alternator to recharge the battery back up to full power. During this recharge period, many features will not have enough power to operate – as was experienced by the motoring.com.au team.
"Most cars, and especially super-luxury sports cars, are not designed to have their electronics running but the engine off for any significant period. In the case of the McLaren 650S in question, the car was simply undergoing a technical process that is designed in to the car and not a fault as is suggested in the story."
2015 McLaren 650 S Coupe pricing and specifications:
Price: $441,500 (plus on-road costs)
Engine: 3.8-litre V8 turbo-petrol
Output: 478kW/678Nm
Transmission: Seven-speed dual clutch automatic
Fuel: 11.7L/100km (ADR Combined)
CO2: 275g/km (ADR Combined)
Safety Rating: N/A