BMW 3 Series LCI 2015 Review

BMW 340i
Road Test

If everyone bought cars based primarily on soul-stirring engine performance, there'd be a lot of BMW 340i's getting around… And far fewer Toyotas. The all-new 3.0-litre turbo-petrol BMW 340i is a thrill-seeking missile and, together with a comprehensively upgraded vehicle that surrounds it, a very good car. Maybe not class-leading, but with a significantly improved technology suite and more luxury, it's definitely a contender.
The BMW 3 Series used to be the benchmark in its segment, an exemplar in the luxury car market, a 'how-to' of automotive engineering brilliance. But like the discourteous motorist in traffic who stops you merging onto the freeway with no idea he is even doing so, the BMW 3 Series' competitors have casually cruised ahead.

Call it evolution, the inexorable march of progress – call it Perrywinkle if you like – the BMW 3 Series was falling behind.

But like catching up to that discourteous motorist, the BMW 3 Series mid-life update gives it significantly more vim and vigour. It's as though it has just leant out the window and screamed obscenities at the oblivious Luddite in traffic who clearly couldn't drive a Teflon-coated nail into the world's largest sponge cake.

I had a brief drive in the BMW 340i at national media launch and despite being at the more expensive end of the 3 Series spectrum, this car has more charisma than Malcolm Turnbull talking about negative gearing.

Yes, the new 3 Series has loads of new gadgets, it can connect to the Internet and you can waste time looking at videos of cats playing pianos (so many LOLs). You can turn the air-conditioning on remotely with your smartphone and the car will even read news headlines to you… And yes, it's spooky.

Note to BMW: Your robotic voice actors are scary, not sexy.

But at the heart of this car is an inline six-cylinder engine that feels alive and that, dear readers, is uncommon.

Turn over the engine and a mild growl snaps into being, settling down to a purring hum at idle. It sounds very good in underground carparks. Shove the gear shifter into 'D', tickle the throttle and response is smooth and controlled for regular driving duties, albeit with an ever present undercurrent of menace.

That's in the vanilla mode.

Flick the drive control to Sport mode, simply a button push, and it's like adding Tabasco sauce to your tomato ketchup.

Throttle response becomes razor-sharp, the buttery-smooth eight-speed transmission turns into a rapid-fire ratio changer (especially when paddle shifting) and even the steering gets more gravitas.

And when the six-cylinder engine truly opens up, with a claimed 240kW and 450Nm on tap it sings like a nightingale… a steroidal nightingale with cybernetic wings.

Turbo lag is virtually non-existent in this new engine, which means piles of torque and colossal acceleration anywhere, anytime. Indeed, the BMW 340i is a cruise missile, with undergarment-sullying levels of thrust from just 2000rpm. As the smooth engine snarls past 3000rpm it really hits its straps and doesn't let up until it passes its 6500rpm, the exhaust note rising to a glorious howl before snapping decisively into another gear.

In a straight line, at full bore, the BMW 340i is magnificent. Get on the throttle exiting a corner and it's compelling. The car's nose points exactly where you expect and although the run-flat tyres mean it's it rides very firmly, it's a concern only on time-worn, poorly maintained roads.

This is an engaging car with which to carve up corner after corner, its taut chassis providing high levels of grip. That said, it's not the most involving car in its segment to drive hard and fast, mainly by way of steering that doesn't connect car and driver as harmoniously as something like the Jaguar XE.

The steering is perfectly suited, however, to the daily grind, making commuting and parking a relaxed, effortless practice.

As well as being the vehicular equivalent of Thor's almighty hammer Mjolnir, the $90,000 BMW 340i cocoons occupants in a sumptuous leather-upholstered cockpit that has just enough stylised buttons and dials to impress but not confuse.

This particular car features white 'BMW Individual' leather and though it makes the interior feel roomier and look lavish, it wouldn't my personal choice as it marks easily. I noticed one permanent mark on back seat when I picked it up – and it only had 1085km to its name.

BMW claims 6.8L/100km on the ADR Combined cycle, but you'd have to drive it like 97-year-old great auntie Beryl to achieve that outcome. I managed 11.8L/100km which I thought was a pretty good outcome considering how quickly I travelled between points A and B.

I like the BMW 340i. It's not perfect but it is a memorable car to drive and comes with scads of convenience, luxury and technology features. That it features a SIM card delivering ConnectedDrive online widgets such as real-time traffic updates via high-res widescreen display is particularly useful for metropolitans. And whether cruising slowly in traffic snarls or blasting up on ramps onto the freeway, the 340i has a certain appeal.

It's no longer the benchmark luxury sedan in its class but the 3 Series is still a very talented runner and the six-cylinder turbo engine is a highlight. That alone gives it a point of difference.

Buy it for the badge, drive it for the engine... And never worry about merging between brainless morons ever again.

2015 BMW 340i pricing and specifications:
Price: $89,900 (plus on-road costs)
Engine: 3.0-litre six-cylinder turbo-petrol
Output: 240kW/450Nm
Transmission: Eight-speed automatic
Fuel: 6.8L/100km (ADR Combined)
CO2: 159g/km (ADR Combined)
Safety Rating: Five-star ANCAP

Also consider:
>> Jaguar XE (from $60,400 plus ORCs)
>> Mercedes-Benz C-Class (from $60,900 plus ORCs)
>> Audi A4 (from $55,500 plus ORCs)