Carsales Racing hits LeMons

For those that may be just tuning in, certain members of the carsales.com.au and motoring.com.au crew have been flinging themselves about in very ordinary cars in an attempt to look like they have some degree of ability in a race car.

Not pulling it off, but trying.

Let me explain. We are talking about LeMons racing. Like ‘lemons’, get it?

Indeed, the whole LeMons thing appeals greatly to our sensibilities. Mainly because it is a rollicking good time.

Here’s how it all works. LeMons Racing brings together a delightful bunch of car and motor racing enthusiasts and the basic doctrine is to have fun, without breaking the bank. In fact, the blurb prospective participants receive on entry hits the thing right between the eyes: “24 Hours of LeMons presents Australian endurance racing for $999 cars. It’s a breeding ground for inflated egos and Godlike status… in their own minds. It's where Mercedes and Mazda, Toyota and Hyundai do battle for the glory of gloating rights of LeMons. All are winners if they make it to the end! The very point of the LeMons is to finish.”

LeMons racing was born in the USA (a bit like Bruce Springsteen), and it has subsequently gone berserk with thousands of entries from all over the Land of the Free.

Closer to home, our domestic series asks racers to run for 24 hours (well, two eight-hour races – nobody has lights!), broken over a couple of festive days. The series runs over six rounds, in four states, with an international round set down for Hampton Downs Motorsport Park in New Zealand on September 16-18. Fact is, it’s going off!

motoring.com.au sent yours truly to be part a six-driver team at Winton for the series’ first 2016 round. And I survived, with the team taking a much coveted second position despite my input.

Following this, errr… successful outing LeMons supremo and organizer, Sean Herbert, thought it would be a good thing to build a car to give more people a taste – and we pushed our way in again! The venue, Queensland Raceway – not ironically dubbed the Paper Clip.

Our beast: a 1997 Mitsubishi Mirage. A very straight little car. Only driven to church… That was until Speedy from Le Mons in the US and his crew took to it, err lightening it. Indeed, the thing was stripped to its bare essentials which included a roll bar, fire extinguisher and not a whole lot more.

Given that it was impossible to hear the poor little 1.5-liter fuel injected SOHC four rev through a helmet, a tacho may have been a handy addition, but who’s quibbling? After all, how much damage could 69kW and 129Nm cause?

Tom Reynolds is one of the incredible camera people who weave their magic to bring us the great video and stills you see here every day. To keep him interested, he was given a steer as well. You only have to look at the accompanying videos to see how much fun he had. For a man with such skill with a camera, he’s a comprehensively untalented driver. Nice bloke though…

Come race weekend we joined the 35 strong field of fairly doubtful entries, buckled up and set sail. What could go possibly wrong?

Needless to say we drove the poor little devil like we stole it, ruining a set of front rotors and sending Sean and his helpers out for a new set of discs and race pads during the event.

We slid about the track, almost spinning on numerous occasions, wandering into the infield now and then and generally held our own in a field of cars which included: one with a massive sausage attached to its roof; a Mercedes 190E fitted with a cannon;a Sigma that had been rubbed back till there was only a body and drivetrain left; and an AU Series II taxi. Oh, and there was some silly ones as well.

The car made it to the end, and so did 90 per cent of the field. In excess of 500 laps of the six-turn, 3.12km Queensland Raceway layout, without a major incident of any kind… Except for a few who had to face the wrath of the event stewards who dished out ridiculous penalties like having to taking all four wheels off their race car and carrying them the length of pit straight.

Yes, any on-track misdemenaours are dealt with very harshly indeed.

If all this sound a bit like you, and it really should. Check the website at 24hoursoflemons.com.au and get involved. We did!

Oh, and stay well tuned for a very big announcement in regards to us and a very interesting new LeMons entry.

It’s gonna be HUUUUGE!

Now, where is my racesuit?

24Hours of Le Mons 2016 calendar
August 19-21: Collie
Collie Motorplex, Cardiff, WA 6225
Australia

September 16-18: Hampton Downs
Hampton Downs MotorSport Park, Hampton Downs Rd, Waikato 3782
New Zealand

October 28-30: Wakefield Park
Wakefield Park Raceway, Braidwood Road, Goulburn, NSW 2580
Australia