Do women passengers overreact in cars? We ask the experts

Gripping the car door handle, a loud gasp accompanied by a look of pure terror, and a warning scream of “watch out” – if you’ve been in the car with a couple, or are one half of one, there’s a high likelihood that you’ve witnessed (or done) one or more of these things.

Stereotype or not, front seat car passengers – often thought of as a woman (often girlfriend or wife) – have been known to ‘overreact’ or prematurely react (even before something happens) when their (usually) male partner is driving.

It’s an age-old anecdote you would’ve seen play out in TV shows and Hollywood films.

The behaviour is so common that if you search for the right hashtag on social media, a whole rabbit hole of videos will appear, many like this one: ‘When my wife’s mental load is in the passenger seat’, poking fun at a female partner’s reaction to their male partner’s driving.

But as a woman and wife who may or may not do this, when I came across another post on the subject that looked at the reasons behind it, I was intrigued and, to tell you the truth, a bit validated.

“Ever noticed how some of us react in a car before anything actually happens?”

Noureen Aysha, a TEDx Speaker, posted on Instagram reel, with the following explanation:

“Research in cognitive psychology suggests that women often pick up on subtle environmental cues earlier than men – things like slight lane drift, changes in speed, unusual braking, or a vehicle edging closer than usual,” said Aysha.

“The brain processes these micro-signals subconsciously, through the nervous system, before the mind can clearly explain what feels off.

“Part of this comes from how women are conditioned from a young age to stay alert for safety. From childhood, many women learn to constantly scan their surroundings – who’s around, how close someone is, how fast things are moving, whether a situation feels predictable or not.

“Over time, this habit of environmental checking becomes automatic. The body learns to notice small inconsistencies and react early – often without conscious thought. That’s why the reaction sometimes comes first. It’s pattern recognition!”

It seems I’m not alone in feeling seen and heard, with many other women responding to the post.

“100% me!” commented one user.

“True story,” said another.

“Exactly!! These cues have helped many times, but men just brush them off, saying you are overreacting,” wrote one user.

In the comments, Aysha notes that research suggests women tend to be more alert and vigilant while driving because their brains can process multiple stimuli simultaneously.

“Harvard Health Publishing notes that women's brains have a higher percentage of grey matter in areas responsible for attention and multitasking,” she said.

“This may contribute to women being more observant and alert while driving, noticing potential hazards and reacting accordingly. Studies by Insurance Institute for Highway Safety also show that women are more likely to avoid accidents by taking preventive measures.”

While I’d love to fully accept and embrace what Aysha says, no questions asked, and feel supported by the fellow women who commented in solidarity, I thought asking an expert might be the most sensible option.

Cameron Wearing, director of research and development at the Australian Driving Institute, says that this ‘overreaction’ or preemptive reaction is a common driving behaviour, but that it isn’t just women who do it.

“Absolutely 100 per cent not gender, it’s human, and it happens with men too”, said Wearing.

“However, due to a few factors – who spends more time behind the wheel and driving style – this can mean we see more women than men exhibiting the reactionary behaviours.

“Generally speaking, in the case of a heterosexual couple, the man tends to drive more often, so the experience of the women would appear to be related mostly to women,” he said.

“I believe, in my experience, that most people drive in a similar manner, with men more likely to take a riskier approach. Women, conversely, tend not to and subsequently react when this happens.”

Wearing said one of the most common causes of handle-squeezing and loud gasps is braking, specifically when the passenger believes the driver has not slowed down, or is slowing down fast enough, regardless of whether that is accurate.

And these reactions can have their own set of safety implications.

“It's distracting for starters and creates angst in the cabin, which can lead to arguments about overreacting,” said Wearing.

While the jury is out on whether reacting to a driver’s actions – or lack thereof – is justified, driving safely should be the top priority, which (much to my dismay) means trying to be conscious of and get on top of these reactions, and saving any driver feedback for when you’re safely stopped and out of the car.

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