Goodwood Festival of Speed 2016

Who would have thought the smell of tea and scones could be improved by wafts of two-stroke oil and molten rubber?

Welcome to the Goodwood Festival of Speed, where for four days British grandeur meets vehicular lunacy in a way that only the Poms can manage.

It's a few minutes to four o'clock in the arvo – afternoon tea time of course! – and all eyes are on the 1.16-mile (1.86km) Goodwood hill climb at Lord March's impeccably landscaped estate in Buckinghamshire, England.

You see, a number of seriously crazy rally cars have begun honking up the road at absolutely mad speeds, with the Subaru Impreza 'Gobstopper II' setting one of the fastest times of the day.

There are vintage cars galore at this shindig -- road and race cars alike -- but the juxtaposition of new metal and old is, well, splendid!

Purpose built for Time Attack competition, the outrageous 780hp (580kW) Impreza looks freaky with its giant rear wing, but as was the case in 2015, it was unbeatable up the hill that day – especially in driving rain.

As scones, cream and jam were promptly chomped by all and sundry, a tiny black rally car rockets up the first section of the famous Goodwood hill climb shortly after the psycho Subaru.

Amid the lush topiary, a hectic Citroen DS3 RX from the wild world of Rally Cross blats out 600hp (450kW) and rips round the first corner at warp speed.

Able to accelerate to 100km in two seconds flat, driver Liam Doran is perpendicular to the track after the second corner.

The crowd is roaring, the rain is pouring and the car jack-knifes the other way as Doran tries to control the jaw-dropping slide… and somehow does.

The entire crowd is left momentarily gob-smacked, as riotous laughter and hoots of encouragement erupt from the gathered assembly, which is limited to 150,000 ticket sales per day over the four-day event.

Yeah, it's pretty popular and part of the reason is because the event never clashes with Formula 1, meaning there's almost always current F1 drivers in attendance, alongside F1 race cars of all eras screaming up the hill.

The ear-piercing 2.4-litre V8 F1 cars were a personal highlight.

Attendees range from the hoi polloi to Hollywood celebrities and from families to car enthusiasts and even though the weather on the Saturday ranged from glorious sunshine to driving rain, the atmosphere was exuberant.

Some of the big-name attendees included movie star Keanu Reeves, who rode an Arch KRGT-1 motorcycle, F1 world champion Jensen Button, who piloted a Honda NSX supercar, gymkhana legend Ken Block, who took to the wheel of his Ford Focus RX car, and even F1 design deity Adrian Newey, driving a 2008 Toro Rosso STR03 F1 car.

From concept cars to NASCARs, and rally cars to vintage motorcycles and stunt bikes – complete with smoke burnouts and stoppies – the Goodwood hill climb is an absolute must-do for any self-respecting petrol-head.

The Le Mans race car sounded amazing, a Dakar rally truck went sideways and even an HSV Maloo made an appearance. 'Straya represent!

And once you've had your fill of the hill and paddock area, where the burnouts and booming engines are cranked up to redline, there's the Forest Rally Stage where mud-slinging racers from all eras compete. Sideways? Yes please!

An action sports area for freestyle motocross mayhem never fails to impress and with more static displays nestled within the stunning Goodwood estate than you can shake an oak cane at, you'll need at least three days to be properly simmered in the event's succulent flavours.

If you've already inked in Le Mans, Monaco and Pikes Peak on the bucket list, you should probably add this one too.

But although the smell of tea, scones and high-octane fuel is a heady mix for Brits and visitors alike, we can't help but wonder whether the aroma couldn’t be improved by some billy tea, damper and – before they're extinct – a good old-fashioned Aussie V8 Supercar.