HSV GTO Coupe 2002 Review

Now hang on just one minute. Before hundreds of you HSV diehards start breaking Berettas, loading Lugers and scanning the White Pages for the CarPoint address so's you can learn me the hard way, let me explain this near treasonous statement.

No, I don't mean the HSV GTO, launched at $73,750 in January 2002, is a disappointing car that falls below HSV's usually high performance car standards. Far from it. If you're chasing a HSV-hotted, two-door Commodore derivative that's just as likely to turn heads with its neck-snapping speed as with its drop dead lines, then read no more. Call the bank, arrange the finance and badger the nearest HSV dealer to put you on the waiting list. You won't be disappointed.

Which gets me back to why I was. This vehicle has been built up more than a Christopher Skase balance sheet. The monumental hype leading to the Monaro, and to its HSV cousins, kept me on the edge of my seat, expecting Australia's own V8-powered BMW M3, or something like that. Handling to die for, power to burn, styling to shame Armani and built to a standard Rolex would be happy with.

So it was a rude shock to step into the GTO Coupe and see Commodore cues everywhere. This is the HSV GTO Coupe, and it's supposed to be something special. Something little boys stick posters of on their bedroom wall, something grown men aspire to own, something everybody wants and secretly covets, but only the lucky few ever get front row seats.

So it's not supposed to have the Commodore steering wheel, Commodore dash, Commodore instrument binnacle and those same mismatched Commodore dash coverings. Because that is just too fleet-mobile, too common, too normal. But it does.

It was also deflating to discover that the GTO Coupe is as prone to those little production line hiccups just like every other locally built Holden. The bootlid latch on our test car developed performance anxiety after only a couple of days, the latch on the lid coming loose, and the anchor point on the vehicle moving out of alignment.

Now Holden and HSV are probably going to tell me that the cost invloved in replacing all those Commodore hand-me-downs would price the GTO out of reach of everyone who's last name isn't Packer. They'd probably also tell me that the original Monaro, just like today's GTO Coupe, was based on a mass market family sedan, the Holden HK. And they'd be right, of course. And then they'd tell me I'm being irrational. And they'd be right. But no-one can tell me that the HSV Coupe makes good purchasing sense on a purely rational, logical level. Coz they'd be wrong.

Regardless of the souped up marketing hype, irrespective of any sentiment-dripping nostalgic links to the great GTOs of the 1960s and -70s - Ferrari's 250 GTO was the first in 1962 with the Gran Tourismo Omologato badge, closely followed in 1963 by the Pontiac GTO (perhaps the first true GTO muscle car) - this is still an awesomely quick coupe built cost-effectively and efficiently on the Commodore platform.

The GTO's pace comes essentially from the same General Motors' 5.7 litre alloy V8 engine that powers the rest of the HSV range, this time in 255kW trim with 475Nm of torque. The 4-speed auto GTO we tested will sprint to 100km/h from rest in around 7.5 seconds. Not exactly blistering, but if you want quicker, try the optional 6-speed manual, which knock over 0-100km/h in 6.6 seconds.

The Coupe's real strength is when it's up and moving, because encouraging the 1675kg GTO from standstill is no easy task. Once cutting air the GTO responds eagerly to any and all throttle prods with a low, catlike V8 induction growl and a renewed hunger for the horizon. Below 3000rpm the GTO's engine is slightly underdone, and doesn't really start pulling until you crack 4000rpm on the way to a 6500rpm redline. Keep it spinning above 4-grand and the physical pleasures are equally matched by the V8's throaty, determined soundtrack.

Though we haven't driven it in the GTO or GTS, we reckon the 6-speed manual would be the pick of the two transmissions, because the 4-speed automatic is clunky, slow to change and very easy to fool. It stumbles clumsily through gearchanges, lurching at times as it belatedly changes down, and has the unnerving flow on effect of upsetting the car's balance under braking and in corners.

The suspension is firm, very firm, though not without its comforts on smoother streets. Bumpy, rutted country roads aren't damped much by the low profile Bridgestones, nor the multi-link suspension. But it's only a problem for occupants, because the car tracks true, and has no troubles keeping those big 18-inch rear wheels in touch with the tarmac, and converting prodigious power into blistering pace.

The steering is quick and sharp, though thwarted somewhat by the Coupe's tendency to push the front end relentlessly at the limit. HSV claims the steering rack is unique, as Holden uses a 12percent slower rack in the Monaro, but the Coupe's rack is actually the '12percent quicker' rack straight from the Commdore. So unique it ain't, but it does the job, helped in no small part by those sticky Bridgestone S03s. Accurate and with plenty of feedback. We actually prefer the quicker HSV Coupe steering feel and response, and believe Holden shouldn't have changed it for the Monaro.

The GTO is not a mountain lion. It's not truly at home on tight, winding, climbing roads, though it will give a fair account of itself on such a route. The car is just too big and cumbersome to ever be a hill-climber's scalpel, and is not at home changing directions continuously, darting between 40km/h corners. It's more a valley flyer, devouring kilometres with ease, flowing gracefully though 60km/h and 80km/h bends with superglue levels of adhesion. And it'll easily double the advisory speed signs, if you're game.

Coming down the mountain could be a little scary, because as good as the GTO's standard fitment performance brakes are, they will fade with repeated high-stress requests. There is a premium brake package available for an extra quid, as fitted standard to the top-spec GTS. Both packages are equipped with anti-lock technology.

So, given that the GTO's got bucketloads of grunt, Grand Touring credentials, and head-snapping style, should you buy one? Well, chances are that nothing we say is going to sway your decision one way or the other. Either you aspire to own a HSV, or you don't. Buying the GTO Coupe is a decision based mostly on emotion. And HSV knows this; why else do you think the HSV slogan is "I just want one"?

If you must justify this purchase beyond pure emotion, then answer the following questions: Is the GTO the best Coupe for under $75,000? No, Nissan's 200SX is quicker, more agile, though the GTO is more comfortable for adults in the rear. Is it the best V8 Coupe for under $75,000? Yes, it is, but it's the only one, apart from the Monaro.

Is it worth $75,000? Probably. Will you enjoy driving it, owning it? Definitely. Will you be the envy of your mates and neighbours? Without a doubt. Will it stand the test of time? Does it matter? Will you regret your purchase? Not likely. Will you brag about owning a HSV GTO Coupe at family barbies? Will you be asked ceaselessly to take mates for a ride? Will you truly enjoy owning the HSV GTO Coupe, the penultimate Aussie muscle coupe? Only if you've got a pulse.