HSV Maloo 2013 Review

Price Guide (recommended diveaway price): $58,990
Crash rating: 5 stars
Fuel: 95 RON PULP
Claimed fuel economy (L/100km): 13.5
CO2 emissions (g/km): 322
Also consider: FPV GS; FPV F6; HSV Maloo R8; Holden Commodore SS-V

Forget the luminescent paintjob, 20-inch alloy wheels and the exhaust note from petrol-head heaven, what the HSV Maloo really needs is a pop-up hand about the size of the ones you see Status Quo playing in that supermarket ad. Except this one would unfold from the tray with middle digit firmly extended.

Because you know it would come in handy --about every 30 seconds -- as yet another matron, political do-gooder or hybrid driver takes offence at the Maloo’s mere presence on the roads.

Obviously they don’t get it. A V8 ute is Australian for sports coupe and the Maloo is the latest – and one of the best - expressions of the breed. Latest? Well, the Maloo R8 has been the sole two-door in the HSV line-up since the VE Commodore became the donor vehicle back in 2007. Before then, the Maloo, sans R8, was part of the old Z series.

So it returns as one of the main stars of a model year 12.5 update of the E3 series. HSV says it’s all part of its 25th anniversary celebrations. It’s their birthday, we get the presents, but have to pay for them as well. But pay a bit less than before as it turns out.

The Maloo is basically the old R8 without the hard tonneau cover, sailplane and HSV’s Enhanced Driver Interface (EDI) system, which provides cool track-day info like lap times and yaw rating. Priced at $58,990, it undercuts the old R8 by $6000 (not including on-road costs) and is the cheapest model in the line-up.

Included in the standard equipment list are Pentagon alloy wheels an inch larger than the old R8, Sport Touring suspension, a four-piston brake package, launch control (manual only), satellite navigation, rear park assist with reversing camera, Bluetooth and USB input. The hard tonneau as tested gets traded in for a more practical soft-top at the entry price. Safety gear includes four airbags, ‘competition mode’ stability control, antilock brakes with EBA and a five star ANCAP rating.

The R8, incidentally, has gone a bit upmarket. Now priced at $68,500 (plus on-roads), it gets leather seats, new forged alloys (also 20-inch) and a Bi-Modal exhaust (which our test car was optionally fitted with).

There’s also a power hike for the LS3 6.2-litre V8 to 325kW (torque stays at 550Nm), bringing it up to a level once reserved for the GTS (which is set for a hike itself when it returns in 25th Anniversary spec this October). The Clubsport R8 and Senator Signature also re-set at 325kW.

The Maloo has 317kW at 6000rpm and 550Nm at 4600rpm, which is where the R8 used to be. And it will do just nicely thanks.

As the throttle pedal is pressed the exhaust note changes from a distant chuckle, to a deep bass and then a metallic roar as the mid-range is breasted and responds. Sitting in the cockpit is like bathing in it and the rush forward is marvellous. Anyone who has an understanding and appreciation of Aussie muscle car heritage will love it. Throwing PULP at it at well above the the ADR 13.5L/100km combined figure is the price you pay.

Thirst aside, in many ways this is a surprisingly refined drivetrain. The clunks, rattles, whines and 'proppiness' from days of yore are no more. Instead the main thing to grapple with is the heavy Tremec manual six-speed gearbox and an over-powering clutch return that made slow, smooth shifts a chore. Instead, it was easier to ram the shift through, which is not something you are always in the mood to do.

Thankfully these days there is a modern six-speed auto option, priced at $2000. It is a far better choice around town than the manual, even if it is almost set and forget in second gear when toodling around.

Driving in town also shows up just how poor visibility is in this thing. Merging right is an exercise in faith, seeing out the back is an almost hopeless task too. The reversing camera and parking sensors are an absolute must.

Looking out side windows is not something restricted to changing lanes on the freeway. You could find yourself doing it on a tight corner quite easily – and accidentally. Our week with the Maloo coincided with yet more wet Melbourne weather and it was not hard to indulge in unintentional (or intentional for that matter!) oversteer. Accelerating down a damp road wheelspinning in second or third gear is also an experience.

It sounds a bit crazy, but it’s actually very predictable and enjoyable. The Maloo’s dynamic strength is built around a brilliantly tuned front-end that communicates steering feel beautifully and handles with great surety and predictability, supported by a multi-link independent rear-end far superior to the live axle and leaf springs used by FPV utes.

So use those effective four-pot brakes, dive into a corner with confidence and then punch out at around 3000rpm in third gear, using all that beaut torque to decide how you want the rear behaving. It’s a long wheelbase, wide-tracked car so it’s all very predictable.

The talent of the chassis is confirmed by its extremely well controlled ride. Yes, it’s firm, but it deals with road corruptions and controls body movement in a way that proves the local blokes still understand our conditions best.

Inside the Maloo is pretty much what we have come to expect from HSV; there are big and supportive cloth seats, a fat steering wheel, a trio of supplementary gauges at the top of the centre stack and much else straight from the Commodore VE, including the touch screen, trim materials, the centre-mounted window controls and park brake, decent door bins, and clever netted storage behind the seats that can swallow a lap-top. And, of course, there’s the tray that can haul a fair bit too!

Outside, with its vents, flares, nostrils and quad exhausts, the Maloo looks potent, wicked and a whole lot of naughty fun.

You know what? It is. Those matrons and hybrid drivers don’t know what they’re missing out on.