MINI D blog: a campaign against added value

Put in a bit over 700km today, from Robe on the SA coast, a bit to the left of Mt Gambier, up along the edge of the Coorong to Meningie and Murray Bridge and eventually on to Port Augusta. And yep, we went via the Barossa and the Clare…

As wine tatsting is out, the trip's developed a second purpose -- that of a town-by-town meat pie comparison tour. For the benefit of all Australians, an executive summary of the verdicts so far...
Narooma: no'bad
Lakes Entrance: no'bad
Apollo Bay: no'bad
Meningie: bit grey on the inside, but no'bad

Don't mind a pie... But Meningie gave me fodder for my long standing campaign to stamp out added value -- the kind of added value evident in the tandoori chicken 'gourmet' pizza... In the automatic addition of chicken salt to hot chips as if it adds some kind of mojo over and above ordinary sodium chloride... In the all-or-nothing bundling of satnav, alloy wheels and angora floormats you don't want with the reversing camera you need. In the annoyingly intrusive auto backup software and other pop-up rubbish you get on USB sticks and external hard drives, when all you want is a place to park your files.

And, in the case of the Meningie Bakery, the addition of a blanket of pink icing to a jam donut that sleeps perfectly well out in the open, and... Let's go to the videotape:

Jezza: Err, is that a cheese and spinach roll?
COUNTER LADY: Well yes, it's a chicken, cheese and spinach roll...

In my books, the arrival of chicken in any postcode where there's already cheese and spinach cannot be a good thing. And it's not just me. It's just disgusting. Lucky we live in a democracy, where I didn't have to buy one.

On a private track belonging to a friend of Carsales who just happens to reside somewhere between Robe and Murray Bridge, we made some startling discoveries about fuel consumption. Namely, the faster you go, the more fuel you guzzle. Go figure... We'll let the figures do the talking about just how much more fuel you guzzle once you venture out of the optimum velocity range... Mind you, is 7.8L/100km at a constant old ton the most economical figure ever recorded by a production car? It's not half bad any way...

In the wide open spaces of the Coorong and on to Murray Bridge, we're still averaging better than 4.5L/100km, Given we're only occasionally hitting the speed limit [Ed: that's an interesting way of putting it, Jezza -- hitting it when you're slowed down by a caravan!] the number is pretty impressive.

Plenty of autumnal attractiveness through the Barossa and Clare Valleys. Muttley was not happy, however… So many cellar doors, so little time. We were strong – despite the fact we calculated we could have fitted around 27 case of red into the Cooper D, we purchased not a one. All in the interests of fuel consumption, dear friends.

Burra is like Robe without water. Plenty of conserved original buildings – another place to mark down for a visit when we're not on a timetable. Sinkers says the country to the north of gold and tin mining town is beautiful in a uniquely South Australian way. The tall angular chimney stacks of long abandoned tin mines are in stark contrast to the bare, rounded and treeless hills. It was dark when we got there. Refer: Blue Lake and cancelled photo opp.

We drove a fair way into the night to get to Port Augusta, only to arrive and find the town's entire accommodation supply is booked out by a BHP conference. Except, as it turns out, one two-bedroom unit at a campsite. The people who booked it didn't turn up. One look would tell you why.

Tomorrow the Nullabor beckons and Muttley's rule of no driving after dark cuts in. It's almost 900km to our overnight stop at Eucla. Do the maths – unless we get away at daybreak we'll either have to speed or sleep by the side of the road.

I'm now off to bed, to dream Monty Python dreams of living in shoe box in't' middle of road...

Good luck and good night!

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