MINI JCW Clubman 2017 Review

What’s it all about?
MINI’s flagship John Cooper Works range is about adding extra pep to the already-sporty Cooper S line-up. In the case of the funky six-door Clubman model, that ‘pep’ comes courtesy of MINI’s 2.0-litre Twin Power Turbo engine with 170kW/350Nm , an increase of 29kW/70Nm over the derivative model.

Behind the wheel, those numbers translate to a claimed 0-100km/h dash of 6.3sec and maximum velocity of 238km/h. In MINI-speak, the zesty figures are referred to as its “authentic race feeling”.

We prefer simply: “spritely”. Which is not to say the MINI John Cooper Works Clubman is slow. It isn’t. But it’s not a race car. It’s simply a faster, grippier, and aurally feistier version of the quirky MINI wagon.

Bottom line is, the hyper JCW has now grown up and is a tamer, more manageable manifestation of the manic, wheel-spin-happy, hearse-styled original. For some, this might be a good thing, but I’m not convinced.

How much will it cost?
Like all MINI JCW variants, the Clubman isn’t cheap. In fact, at $54,990 (plus on-road costs), it’s $11K dearer than the Cooper S Clubman on which it is based.

The extra ’11-large’ adds MINI’s ALL4 active all-wheel drive system, the aforementioned uptick in power, and a suite of the styling extras desired by sporty buyers – as well as a more sophisticated chassis with a more biddable ride, thanks primarily to adaptive dampers.

Yes, that’s an impressive list of extras, but we’re still not sure it’s great value.

For example, our test car ran a list of options which we feel should be included for the asking price. These include a Climate Package ($2400) with sunroof, sun-protection glazing and heated front seats; roof rails ($350); and metallic paint ($900). We could take or leave the Anthracite roof lining ($300); Piano Black trim garnishes ($300); Dinamica/Leather upholstery ($500); and body stripes ($350).

MINI offers its F54-series range with a condition-based servicing scheme and three-year/unlimited-kilometre warranty. Three year’s roadside assistance is also included.

Why should/shouldn’t I buy it?
The fact is, if you’re after a hot hatch there are better options out there. But the John Cooper Works Clubman isn’t really a hot hatch is it? Nor is it an SUV.

Instead it’s a peculiar, square-peg-round-hole kind of car, a maverick occupying a space almost all its own. And for that reason alone there are bound to be folks who will love it – for example, if five-seat flexibility is not-negotiable.

Certainly on the practicality front, the MINI Clubman is a cut above the average hatch. With the seats in place there’s 360 litres of cargo space to be had, expandable to 1250 litres via 40:20:40 split-fold rear seats.

Though we reckon most punters keen on the JCW moniker probably won’t be honing-in on outright pragmatism. For most buyers, this car is a statement piece, one which rewards the driver with crisp power delivery, a sharply incisive gearshift, a sorted chassis, and stellar Brembo brakes.

The John Cooper Works Clubman’s electrically-assisted steering is likewise crisp and responsive. It contributes to extracting a lot of in-corner conviction from the MINI’s chassis – teaming with the newly installed electronic diff lock – to deliver plenty of tenacity in the bends, almost in spite of the Clubman’s frumpy 1540kg kerb weight.

On the downside, the quirky clutter of the cockpit makes the ideal driving position near-impossible to find, the relationship to the pedal box especially congested; ditto many of the MINI’s switchgear, instrumentation, and secondary controls.

We also took umbrage to the incessant drone of the (225/35 R19) run-flat tyres at freeway speeds.

When is it available in Australia?
On sale now, the MINI John Cooper Works Clubman is one of a four-strong JCW line-up.

MINI has now applied its sporting treatment to the three-door Hatch, six-door Clubman, two-door Convertible, and five-door Countryman.

All are available with the choice of six-speed manual or eight-speed automatic transmission.

At this point in time, the JCW ‘wand’ isn’t waved over Cooper five-door Hatch models.

Who will it appeal to?
Fast families, fleeting free spirits, individuals with a sense of immediacy, hipsters in a hurry... In reality the MINI John Cooper Works Clubman has no clear boundaries.

It’s this uniqueness which does give the Clubman in particular a sense of individuality and exclusivity which mainstream hot hatches and go-fast SUVs simply can’t match.

Love it or hate it, you have to admire its inimitability.

Where does it fit?
As much as the MINI John Cooper Works Clubman might paint a picture of segment uniqueness, it technically slots in to the VFACTS ‘Light Car Plus $25K’ category; which frankly we find odd.

According to that VFACTS categorisation, the Clubman competes with the Alfa Romeo MiTo, Audi A1, Citroen DS 3, and Peugeot 208. Which is questionable considering the six-door MINI has a kerb weight greater than the medium segment Honda CR-V SUV, and its dimensions are closer to those of the small segment Honda HRV (the Clubman measures 4253mm long, 1800mm wide, 1441mm high, and rides on a 2670mm wheelbase).

So, what do we think?
Unfortunately, the original Clubman was so unique the current-gen model feels like a boardroom compromise. It’s now more practical. Civilised. More grown-up. I mean it even has nearly all of the doors in the right places.

On hand, it is still the only ‘Light’ segment, six-door, overweight, oversized, non-SUV, non-hatch in its class; on the other, it still moves pretty damn quickly.

In short, I guess you’d say the Clubman JCW has lost its mongrel. It’s less philistine – less Frankenstein – than it was. And as good, and refined as it now is, I’m just not as enamoured with it as I feel I should be.

2017 MINI John Cooper Works Clubman pricing and specifications:
Price: $53,900 (plus on-road costs) / $59,000 (as tested, plus on-road costs)
Engine: 2.0-litre four-cylinder turbo-petrol
Output: 170kW/350Nm
Transmission: Six-speed manual
Fuel: 7.8L/100km (ADR Combined) / 9.8L/100km (as tested)
CO2: 168g/km (ADR Combined)
Safety Rating: Four-star EuroNCAP (2015 result based on Cooper Clubman 1.5)

Related reading:
>> MINI Cooper S Clubman Review 
>> MINI Cooper SD Clubman ALL4 Review
>> MINI John Cooper Works Clubman ALL4 International Launch