Geoffrey Harris•13 Dec 2013

NEWS

MOTORSPORT: Laughter the medicine for off-season

From the so-often so-serious world of F1 comes a good dose of humour, while Volvo's V8 Supercar runs and Craig Lowndes gets a new endurance co-driver – Steven Richards

Lotus takes the Mickey out of F1 rule changes

It’s been a long, hard year in motorsport, and it’s ending on a low with stalwart V8 Supercar participant manufacturer Holden announcing it will cease vehicle production in Australia.

On top of Ford’s similar announcement earlier it is causing concern, especially for V8 Supercar fans, about the long-term future of the traditional track battle between the Lion and the Blue Oval badges.

The chequered flag isn’t in sight on that just yet, but in any case it’s time to unwind as the holiday season approaches and have a laugh.

And the best giggle at the minute comes from the Lotus Formula One team.

The guys and gals at Lotus have waited months for an injection of funds from a Middle Eastern and American business syndicate called Quantum that has never arrived – which probably prompted Kimi Raikkonen’s defection back to Ferrari.

Romain Grosjean’s greatly-improved form in the season just finished kept spirits up at Lotus, especially when Raikkonen skipped the last two grands prix to have his back treated but more likely because he hadn’t been paid his mega salary.

Anyway, the good-natured crew at Lotus have come up with a list of proposals in response to the raft of changes introduced recently by the governing Federation Internationale de l’Automobile (FIA) for F1 next year, including double world championship points for the final GP in Abu Dhabi and five-second penalties for minor infringements during races.

And, being sharing people, the Lotus bods have circulated their proposals beyond the F1 paddock community.

A few clues on these proposals firstly. Mercedes driver Lewis Hamilton has a dog named Roscoe that he took to some GPs this year. Taki Inoue was an incredibly quick Japanese F1 driver in the 1990s who steadfastly refused to learn English, which virtually every other non-English speaker in the sport has considered essential. South Korea’s GP at the remote and inhospitable Yeongam has been axed from next year’s calendar.

So here’s the Lotus F1 Team’s “Amendments Proposal to 2014 Sporting Regulations”:

1. Any driver who has a pet named “Roscoe” will start from the back of the grid. On even days only. Does not apply in April.

2. Any driver celebrating his birthday on the day of qualifying will be granted pole position, 10 points and a Ferrari garage tour.

3. Any driver replying with “for sure” to a press conference question will be slapped. Every time.

4. Any driver doing donuts at the end of the race will have to eat the same number of said donuts immediately post race during the mandatory press conference.

5. Any driver wanting a new haircut must give all teams a minimum of 3 days’ notice. Weight handicaps may apply.

6. Any team caught using ‘amusing’ hashtags post 2013 may be questioned for illegal fun and will receive a heavy fine.

7. All drivers must retort to rude messages from the pitwall to a similar or greater degree of rudeness.

8. All driver managers will be compelled to spend at least one Grand Prix telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

9. The team who designs the ugliest car of the season will be deducted 15 per cent of their final points tally.

10. Any team with a reality TV guest at any race will be forced to contest the following GP with the same reality star driving.

11. Any team with more than four members of personnel who have previously held the title ‘Technical Director’ will be forced to design their car solely using LEGO.

12. Any loophole exploiting devices can only be used if they have a cool name: ‘Stingray 2000 Optimiser’ allowed. ‘Keith’ not allowed.

13. Championship points deciders will be determined by Rock, Paper, Scissors or Cage Fight.

14. All driver disputes will be determined by reference to Taki Inoue and a good bottle of red.

15. Any team(s) missing any of the pre-season tests will be compelled to contest a non-points scoring 2014 Korean Grand Prix amongst themselves.

16. Any driver completing a Grand Prix using only two wheels will get double points.

17. All drivers named Sebastian Vettel will complete their own pitstops without outside assistance from their mechanics.

18. Any driver beating Sebastian Vettel will get a double at the bar.

Door open for new F1 team(s)

OK, enough of the funny stuff. To serious motorsport business now.

The FIA has called for expressions of interest from potential new F1 teams, looking to increase the grid from 11 two-car teams back to at least 12 in 2015 or 2016.

Several of the existing teams are reportedly already in danger of collapse, so it – and particularly F1 commercial supremo Bernie Ecclestone – may need more than one viable new team to step forward.

The expressions of interest have been sought by January 3 – just three weeks away - with fuller applications to be in by February 10.

The FIA said it would make a decision on applicants on February 28.

“In the event that no applicant is considered suitable by both the FIA and the commercial rights holder, no additional team will be selected,” it said.

The last new teams admitted to F1 were Hispania, Virgin Racing and Lotus Racing in 2010.

Hispania became HRT but folded last year. Virgin and Lotus Racing (not Team Lotus mentioned above, which had been Renault) morphed into Marussia and Caterham and finished 10th and 11th in this year’s constructors’ world championship – still without having scored a single point in the sport.

Volvo V8 Supercar has first run – with Holden power

V8 Supercar’s fifth make, Volvo, began aerodynamic evaluation of its S60 this week at the Royal Australian Air Force’s base at East Sale in Victoria’s Gippsland.

Apparently no engineers from Volvo or its performance associate Polestar were there but rather just a crew from Garry Rogers Motorsport, the long-established Holden team switching to the Swedish brand.

The first Volvo B8444S engine is not due to arrive until mid-January so the virgin white S60 ran with one of GRM’s Walkinshaw Performance Holden motors.

It was driven by GRM endurance co-driver Greg Ritter.

The S60 has an end plate-mounted rear wing like the Holdens, Fords and AMG Mercedes of Erebus Motorsport and which Nissan Motorsport intends to adopt next season.

Richards joins Lowndes for 2014 enduros – and Dumbrell stays

Top V8 Supercar team Triple Eight Race Engineering has altered its endurance race line-up for next year just days after the end of the 2013 season, luring Steven Richards across from Ford Performance Racing for whom he won the Bathurst 1000 in October with Mark Winterbottom

Triple Eight boss Roland Dane said Richards would make a perfect partner for Craig Lowndes, who won this year’s first Endurance Cup – scored across the Sandown 500, Bathurst 1000 and Gold Coast 600 – with Warren Luff, who is now talking to several other teams.

Richards has been signed for two endurance seasons and said it would be “fantastic partnering Craig, one of the strongest endurance drivers in Australian touring car history”.

As surprising as Triple Eight snaring Richards was its announcement that Paul Dumbrell will continue as Jamie Whincup’s co-driver in next year’s enduros.

Dumbrell, who won with Whincup at Sandown in September and at Bathurst last year, had been thought to have retired after a couple of mistakes in the most recent Great Race at Mt Panorama, seemingly admitting that – with his heavy business commitments – he could no longer do justice to the plum role.

Richards has won Bathurst three times – with Jason Bright in a Ford in 1998, Greg Murphy in a Holden in ’99 and Winterbottom two months ago – and had been with FPR seven years, initially full-time and for the past three years as an endurance co-driver.

“We’ve won Bathurst five times in 10 years and we want to carry on putting ourselves in a position to do well there every time,” Dane said.

“We were in a position to win it this year (with Whincup and Dumbrell) but we didn’t.”

Of pinching Richards from arch-rival FPR, Dane said: “It’s not about making friends, it’s about winning.

“It’s about having the strongest possible combination and continuity over a period of time.

“Steven has a wealth of experience that will be invaluable during these intense endurance races.”

Meanwhile, Steve Owen, already with a contract to remain an FPR endurance co-driver next season, is in contention to race full-time in the fourth FPR Falcon entered by Charlie Schwerkolt, depending on whether Alex Davison – 13th in the championship this year – stays.

Next April’s New Zealand round, the second back at the Pukekohe circuit after the failure of the Hamilton street event, will have NZ’s V8 SuperTourers on the program with V8 Supercars.

Trans-Tasman veteran Greg Murphy recently won the second V8 SuperTourer series in which the cars are similar to V8 Supercars but with a generic Corvette-based engine.

Atkinson a piece of the WRC jigsaw

The World Rally Championship line-ups are falling into place for next season, with Australia’s Chris Atkinson confirmed as one of the drivers who will rotate through the second of the new Hyundai i20s.

Atkinson, a test driver for Hyundai for several months, will compete in Rally Australia at Coffs Harbour in September, with the Mexican event – another on gravel – a possibility for him.

Spaniard Dani Sordo will fill the seat for the season-opening Monte Carlo Rally in mid-January, while Finn Juho Hanninen will be the main No. 2 driver to Hyundai’s star recruit, Belgian Bruno Thierry.

After a decade out of the WRC, Hyundai team principal Michel Nandan said the Korean manufacturer would be aiming for podiums in the second half of the season.

Citroen, long dominant before Volkswagen’s arrival this year and legendary world champion Sebastien Loeb’s transition to part-time and now exit, will field Northern Irishman Kris Meeke and Norwegian Mads Ostberg.

Meeke drove two rounds this year, including Rally Oz, in one of Citroen’s DS3s, while Ostberg joins from the M-Sport Ford team.

Finn Mikko Hirvonen is expected to rejoin M-Sport, after two years with Citroen, with Polish ex-F1 star Robert Kubica, who won this year’s WRC2 and last weekend the new FIA “Personality of the Year” award.

VW retains its new French world champion Sebastien Ogier and Finn Jari-Matti Latvala in its Polo Rs.

Read the latest news and reviews on your mobile, iPhone or PDA at carsales' mobile site...

Don't forget to register to comment on this article.

MOTORSPORT: Laughter the medicine for off-season

Tags