Online car auction bidders beware: You might actually win

We all make poor decisions in life. And, if you’re not a car enthusiast, work in the auto industry or classify as a serial car-flipper, you mightn’t be too savvy with online auctions.

That said, there are plenty of websites where it’s pretty common practice to bid for items, and, as far as mild gambling goes, many people probably get quite a kick out of it. 

I can’t say I’m the type of person to start a bidding war for a household item, let alone higher-priced pieces, such as a car. Alas, here we are.

Here’s how it all happened. It’s a bit of a funny story and one I’m now comfortable sharing, despite the fact I could lose all – if any – credibility I ever had.

As all great stories often begin, it all started after a few drinks on a particularly dreary evening, when it suddenly seemed like a great idea to jump onto my favourite auction site to see what cars were up for grabs.

I should really preface this by saying that I was actually looking for an ‘investment’, if you will. An iconic car I could purchase dirt cheap (as you sometimes can if you’re lucky), have some fun with, and then potentially flip for a profit.

Some of the candidates that night included a restored 1984 Porsche 911 930 convertible, a low-kilometre Nissan R32 Skyline GT-R and a Tommi Makinen Tribute Mitsubishi Lancer Evo 6 – all of which sold for much more than I was willing (or able) to spend. 

An AU Series II Ford Falcon XR8 ex-police car was also on my list, as plans to build a road-registered chariot by weekday and a drift pig by weekend had been on my radar for around 12 months and various YouTube videos had me convinced that an AU Falcon was the most accessible way to go about learning to drift.

I lost the XR8 too, with the auto-bidding feature set up by others immediately dropping me down the pecking order.

Then there was this. A 2001 Ford Falcon Forte going for $509.

Without thinking – clearly – I immediately bid the smallest amount possible, which was another $100, making me the highest bidder with five days to go until the auction closed.

With fairly low kilometres (190,000km) for an ‘indestructible AU’ the only thing – aside from the terrible paint fade and missing plastic wheel covers – that seemed wrong with it was the fact that the muffler was in the boot – not mounted to the exhaust. 

Already feeling tipsy and defeated, I was 99 per cent sure someone else would outbid me anyway, so I wasn’t too worried. As I began to sober, so did my terrible, terrible decision.

I can’t begin to describe the sinking feeling in my stomach as the auction crept within hours of closing and I was still the sixth and highest bidder at a whole $609 (plus a 30 per cent Buyers Premium… I know, I know).

I thought, I hoped, some sneaky coward would swoop in with seconds to spare and put me out of my misery beat me to it.

As it turns out, that sinking feeling was nothing compared to how I felt when the auction officially closed and I received a confirmation email to not only congratulate me on winning the auction – featuring an overjoyed man fist-pumping the air in celebration – but to inform me I had but seven days to collect my new vehicle from its Pinkenba location in Queensland.

Queensland. I live in Sydney.

By now, you’re probably thinking, “Wow, she must have been pretty drunk". And, oh, how I wish that were true. 

How I missed that minor location detail is beyond me. I also can’t tell you how much I didn’t look like the smiling man in the email.

Instead, I was ready to curl up into the foetal position, imagining how I’d be kicked out of home to have to live in my very own clapped-out Falcon.

All told, I managed to get my (now) circa-$1000 unregistered AU back to Sydney on less than three full tanks of 98 RON fuel (ya know, to rinse it out), a $27 unregistered vehicle permit (courtesy of the NSW RMS) and a tonne of caffeine.

Perhaps unsurprisingly to anyone that’s owned one, Malibu – as she’s now affectionately known – didn’t skip a beat the whole 900km trip back. She’s a gem.

She’s currently parked up and will soon get a pink slip, some new shoes and a well-deserved polish.

A 270kW turbocharged six-cylinder ‘Barra’ conversion would be great, as would a hydraulic handbrake and some cheeky steering knuckle mods to enable proper drifts, but we’ll start with the basics like getting her on the road first.

As reality sets in, I can’t say this pricey lesson has been a blessing in disguise as such. At least not just yet. But it’s definitely not my biggest regret.

And who knows, maybe we’ll get an “Ali learns to drift” series going on our carsales channels soon.

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