Six things we learned about office go-kart racing

Every now and then, breaking the rules seems like a prudent idea. But doing so can result in fines and a criminal record, so we scotched the original idea of starting a Mario Kart tour that lets drivers blast down city streets at 80km/h in a go kart dressed as Princess Peach, like in Japan.

We figured out a legal – but equally perilous – way to get our go-kart thrills without heading down to a boring, samey kart track.

After a little spit-balling with the carsales Carpool brains trust, we took delivery of a Crazy Cart XL, a unique contraption that will make you laugh, shriek with joy, then weep with unadulterated sorrow.

Here's six things we learned hooning around the office in the 23km/h, EV drift kart of lunacy.

Compared to the modern day automobile, such as the Mercedes-Benz A-Class, there aren't many controls on the Crazy Cart (their name not ours - we prefer Kart o' Karnage). There's a throttle pedal you operate with your right foot, a steering wheel and the drift lever or ‘rage rod' on your right hand side.

While moving, pulling the rage rod does not slow you down. In fact it makes things even more unpredictable. Like Judo, this contrivance takes time to master – patience is your friend.

You will collide with and crush people, desks, object, computers, cardboard boxes full of fruit and potentially pets if you go too fast and forget that Crazy Cart lives up to its name and is indeed radically crazy. Watching people ride the office go-kart for the first time, go full throttle, then realise there's no brakes is akin to a skydiver whose parachute malfunctions momentarily.

Part of the Crazy Cart XL's genius is in its lack of brakes. It teaches drivers to be mindful of momentum, deceleration and the sanctity of human life.

Underground carparks are good places to practice your mad drifting skills - except when other cars run you over - but the best audience is a captive one, and that means blasting through the open plan office. Carpeted office floors grip better too, so you can snap through drift transitions with more flair. To get the best response, yell incoherently while zooming around indoors.

Some office workers, of which there are around 300 spread across five floors in the carsales office in downtown Cremorne, don't appreciate you getting up in their grille and banging into their desks. They're obviously jealous of how cool you look commuting around the office. That said, it's prudent not to let a few setbacks put you off honing your mad drifting skills. Only true success comes after tasting the bitterness of failure.

Perhaps the most important lesson I learned from three weeks on the Crazy Cart XL is that rules and regulations exist in motorsport for a reason. When you only get three replacement caster wheels in the box (and within the first week, two of them are torn to shreds) it's time to get militant with who can and cannot ride the toy that is referred to "official work - it's for the content team".

Thankfully, changing the wheels is easy, just use the Allen keys supplied. Charging the electric kart's batteries is child's play too and storing it upright is a nice way to save space.

Remember that sweet 1994 Sega Megadrive game Skitchin'? It's the process of a rollerblader or skater grabbing onto the back of a moving vehicle and being towed along. Well, it's back, only this time the tow-er is a Crazy Cart XL, and the tow-ee is that aggressive guy on an office chair.

Ultimately the Crazy Cart XL is ludicrously entertaining and despite the many tens of thousands of dollars in property damage and medical bills wrought by this contrivance's arrival in the carsales offices.

We'll never have the joy (or blatant copyright infringement) of Japan's "Mari Kart" but the Crazy Car XL is you-beaut go-karting tomfoolery, all within the complete safety of your employer's office.

I think I speak for everyone when I declare: "We need another two of these machines!"

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