The unspoken rules all car passengers should obey

We all know there is an unspoken set of rules for being the passenger on a plane – not kicking or knocking the seat in front of you, doing your best to limit trips to the bathroom when you aren’t sitting in the aisle, so you don’t force the whole row to get up 50 times, and perhaps controversially- not reclining your seat all the way back.

But what about being the passenger in someone's car?

In my experience, this can go one of two ways - some seem to make themselves immediately right at home, and others can sit uncomfortably nearly on the dashboard because they are too respectful to move their seat back so they can actually fit.

So, what etiquette should a good passenger follow? I asked a range of people for their top ‘rules’ – here’s what they told me.

Amita says that for her, any sort of smoking, regardless of the form it takes, should never occur without specific permission from the driver or owner of the car.

“Not only is second-hand smoke dangerous, it smells and that smell lingers. It’s just all kinds of no and something that most definitely should not be assumed as permittable when you’re a passenger in someone else's car,” she says.

Leon says that a passenger should ask permission before they eat or drink in someone’s car.

“It is a really personal thing. I know that I am okay with particular items being consumed like water or a muesli bar. But food items that are sticky, can melt, or have strong smells I don’t like because I don’t want to have to deal with those consequences later.”

But he says, “everyone is different, I know some people who don’t even want water, so asking is key.”

“I hate it when I’m driving a friend or family member and they start changing the radio station or adjust the volume to suit them. It is my car, and the audio should be controlled by me unless otherwise specified,” says Evan

He concedes that not everyone enjoys his taste in music but that if they are a passenger in his car that they can deal with this temporary inconvenience.

“If they ask to adjust the controls, while I will still most likely say no, I am okay with that because at least they asked,” he says.

This is my number one rule hands down!

My body temperature always seems to be on the cooler side of things so when I get in the car, I often will turn up the heat for the first ten minutes or so to get the overall temperature a bit higher so my hands can actually feel the steering wheel I am trying to control.

When passengers adjust my temperature selection or wind down the windows to compensate, well this annoys me because it affects me too (and as the driver my comfort is paramount).

If they ask, I will usually oblige or come to a happy compromise for all involved.

Josh adores dogs but not in his car.

“As great as they are, they often smell and they leave dog hair and drool everywhere no matter what precautions you take,” he says.

“Anytime I get into a friend’s car who has recently had their dog in it, you can tell immediately. There is a smell that doesn’t go away and even if the dog has only been in the back there are always these greasy-looking marks on the window and dog hair all over the seats.”

Of course, everyone will have their own preferences, but remembering to check in with the driver or car’s owner before you start altering controls or enjoying your egg and bacon brekky roll may be the respectful thing to do.

Related: Five things that passengers are expected to do

Related: The five types of passengers we've all had in the car

Related: The great debate: Who gets to be DJ, driver or passenger?