THIS MOTORING YEAR 2016: Our Gripe of the Year

We have to sympathise with car companies and the battle to differentiate. The struggle they face is real.

But, the impact of one marketing huddle too many is long lasting. ICYMI people, clever automotive speak, industry jargon and innovation overload is annoying AF. Our big gripe is, all this babble is getting in the way of a good story.

Among a sea of acronyms, convoluted naming conventions and changing nameplates, is it any wonder consumers are left wondering? It has me ROFL.

As far as changing nameplates go, in recent years we've seen the Hyundai Tucson change into the ix35 and back to the same (although slightly up-sized) Tucson. Holden's smallest of small-car offerings came to market as the Spark, not Barina Spark, just Holden Spark. But a special mention goes out to the tirelessly marketed Ford Kuga, which will eschew its Euro-naming convention to adopt its US market nameplate in 2017 (and the one used previous to Kuga in Oz), the Escape.

Nothing screams depreciation like a name change!

You'll now need a scientific calculator to decipher BMWs approach to naming strategy and engine capacities/power outputs, and I haven't even started on the obsession with UPPERCASE names, Nissan – JUKE, QASHQAI, LEAF, X-TRAIL!?

Is it a case of he who screams loudest, perhaps?

Possibly the most annoying element to this travesty of the plainspoken English is when its used to explain important safety technology that, even when explained, is still confusing. Where do I begin...

If you're driving a new car, you've probably, most definitely, got ABS, and all or any of AEB, CBC, TCS, City Safe, Intellisafe, i-Sense, EyeSight, City-Stop, Pre-sense and rear cross traffic alert. And the reason we write that last one is that if we initialise it, then our publishing systems see the four letters as a virus and cancels the story publish!

If in doubt, you could always consult ANCAP. Or perhaps Norton360…

The time when this all comes to a head is possibly when you need to understand it most – when consulting your owner's manual. There's a novel idea, I know. But try navigating a glossary without knowing the name of that 'thingy' for which you're looking.

I'm not alone in the motoring.com.au crew with this concern… And I can't believe we are the only ones who crave uniform naming conventions and plainspoken English?

Spare me. FFS!