Top 10 car technologies that Baby Boomers don’t rate

Touchscreens might be functional and their operation easy to understand, but they show finger-print grease very easily and look plain nasty after only a short while.

Furthermore, they can be hard to reach and use while you’re driving. I think the only thing worse is those stupid touchpads (like those found in most Lexus models) that you’re supposed to be able to write on using your (non-dominant) left hand.

This might work in left-hand drive cars, but in right-hand drive markets it’s effectively useless. For my money, the rotary dial controller (like those found in BMW or Mazda ranges) is a far better way to go.

If a car is equipped with Apple CarPlay or Android Auto, then the chances are that it’s also fitted with Bluetooth streaming and satellite navigation. To me it seems a little redundant to have yet another means of connecting with your smartphone.

Do we really need much else in the way of connected technology in a car? Or should we be focussing our efforts on driving?

If you refer back to the touch-operated infotainment systems I mentioned above, you’ll also realise that many of the interactions made with Apple CarPlay or Android Auto require use of the touchscreen as well. It’s just another way to messy-up the screen if you ask me.

While this one needs no explanation, it’s best I clarify why having the indicator wand on the left-hand side of the steering column is a bad idea.

Firstly, as was the case with touchscreens above, the majority of us prefer using their dominant hand to interact with controls we use frequently.

Secondly, the placement of the indicator wand on the left-hand side of the steering column also means the indicator could be missed when changing gear in a manual car, or when using the touchscreen, Apple CarPlay or Android Auto in others.

It’s one of those left-hand drive carry-overs that manufacturers are too cheap to reconcile when adapting cars for right-hand drive markets. For shame.

We don’t need the melanomas, and we don’t need the sun heating up the cabin any more than it already does. Even with the blind closed you can feel the intense heat of the sun beaming through the felt to warm up the car. It makes the air-conditioning work harder, which in turn ruins your fuel economy.

Sunroofs are also noisy in the rain, and with the aerodynamic shape of modern cars virtually impossible to have open at highway speeds. Ever heard of the Helmholtz Resonator Effect? It’s that booming noise you get when more air is entering the cabin than can possibly leave it. No sunroof? No problem.

And I don’t know about you, but every experience I’ve had of older cars ends up with a sunroof either leaking, not working, or both. They’re expensive to repair, and a damn nuisance to boot.

Another answer to a question no-one ever asked is the tyre repair kit. A full-size spare wheel is more dependable, and most of us know how to fit one – or at the very worst, we can call roadside assistance to help.

But if you’ve ever been unlucky enough to get a flat tyre with only a tyre repair kit to save the day then you’ll probably agree that it’s as useless as a white crayon. Nine times out of ten the damage to the tyre is so significant that the repair kit won’t do its job, leaving you, the family and your pride and joy on the side of the road thumbing a ride.

Car companies argue that the inflator kit is about cutting costs and saving weight, but they’ve obviously never travelled any great distance in our wide, brown land. Even a space saver spare is a better option Down Under!

If ever there was a technology that didn’t live up to its claim it’s rain-sensing wipers. They either don’t start wiping first thing in the morning, to clear the dew off the windscreen, or they don’t stop wiping, even after the rain has ceased to fall.

Rain-sensing wipers also struggle in low-light conditions (i.e. dusk and dawn), in misty conditions or when the rain’s stopped falling but the road is still wet. Yes, mist from other vehicles will send rain-sensing wipers into overdrive, where in some situations heavy rain won’t even get them moving.

To my mind, adjustable speed intermittent wipers, or programmable wipers like those found on early Opel (Holden) Barina and Astra models, are a far better idea. If that fails, the switch is only a finger’s reach away.

While I don’t have a problem with the button itself, I find that if it’s placed somewhere on the dashboard or console where it’s out of sight or too far to reach easily that it’s not much use.

Keyed ignitions used to be mounted on the steering column. You knew where they were, you could find them in the dark, and the operation was identical no matter the car you jumped into. The push-button ignition on the other hand seems to have fallen victim to designer whimsy.
I’ve found keyless starters mounted in places that are less than logical, or in places where they’re susceptible to interference from passengers, drinks, foreign object and accidental use. Best we stick to the one spot and be done with it, I reckon.

Again, this isn’t a problem I have with the technology itself, but the unforeseen issues the technology creates. Simply, ISOFIX anchor points have created an issue whereby rear seats can no longer be folded flat.

Those of us at an age beyond the child-rearing years want load space, not easy attachment for child safety seats. There’s nothing worse than purchasing a large object you know should fit only to find it won’t because of the precious centimetres ISOFIX anchor points consume. I hate paying for delivery charges when I’m perfectly capable of moving things myself.

ISOFIX points would be better as an option, in my humble opinion, or as a removable (bolt-in/out) device that would allow owners without children to make the best possible use of their car’s practicality.

Why won’t your cruise control systems hold the car to the set speed on a hill? Why must you have a separate system that can’t be used at the same time as the cruise control function to limit speed? Wake up Euro car designers. We’re not always driving down mountainsides.

And in a country like Australia, where we’re browbeaten into driving with one eye on the speedo, the idea of a speed limiter seems a little redundant to me.

I also don’t like the feeling that I won’t be able to use the throttle to accelerate away from pending danger. Yes, I know that if you push the throttle hard enough the car will over-ride the speed limiter. But to new drivers, or those inexperienced with how a speed limiter works, I have a feeling the technology is one that could cause more issues than it solves.

Why do we need crystal-clear radio reception of music or content you may or may not like? Surely the streaming of a podcast or music you enjoy, directly from your smartphone, is a far better option.

I mean if I wanted to hear the opinion of someone that didn’t matter I’d watch morning television or commercial news. To my mind it’s far better to download an intelligent and informative conversation from the massive array of podcasts available, or to create a bespoke playlist to stream at my leisure or to suit my mood. No ads, no worries.

The other issue with digital radio is that it doesn’t work outside the metropolitan fringes – or in tunnels. That’s bloody annoying when you spend as much time on the road as I do.

Yes, we’ve come a long way from scrolling through the AM band, and I’d wager that radio does have its place. But that place is in the past; and as a Baby Boomer, digital radio is the number one in-car technology I simply don’t rate.