Why manual car drivers are better people... and lovers

COMMENT

Driving a car with a manual gearbox requires skill, timing and dexterity. Not unlike making love.

And Australians are rapidly losing their inclination to undertake such activities.

The technique required to motivate a car with a manual gearbox is something that must be learned, then mastered.

Advanced manoeuvres can enhance pleasure, such as double-clutching and the old heel-and-toe shuffle, but manual vehicles and, in turn, manual drivers are being slowly killed off by an insidious but much-loved phenomena – the SUV.

SUVs are the most popular type of vehicle sold in Australia, accounting for more than half of all new car sales in Australia, but only one per cent of them are fitted with a manual gearbox.

Passenger cars like sedans, coupes and hatchbacks are a little higher at almost four per cent, while light commercial vehicles – including utes – rise to around 13 per cent.

But that’s still a tiny slice of the overall pie.

Despite the fact that manual drivers are better dancers, are able to think on their feet, have better calf muscle definition and are generally more engaged with what’s going on around them (especially when driving an automobile) than those who use automatic transmissions, manual motorists are a dying breed.

To drive a manual car legally in Australia you need a manual driver’s licence, which is often viewed as a hindrance in today’s culture that demands everything be simplified, AI-driven, instantly delivered now-now-now.

Feel free to opt for an automatic licence if the idea of harmonising the clutch and accelerator pedals sounds too difficult, just as you can choose to hack off your feet and replace them with Bluetooth-activated trolley coasters if the idea of walking sounds too laborious.

Manual car drivers are more attentive, more alert, more decisive and generally better drivers, in my opinion.

They’re also less likely to reach for their mobile phones – a significant cause of road trauma – because manual drivers not only need their left hand to change gears, but are also grounded, living in the moment, more engaged and better connected with traffic flow.

If you disagree, and I’m sure many of you will, you’ll no doubt explain your dim-witted reasons why in the comments section on our Facebook page, most likely with a caveat “I used to own a 1996 Hyundai Excel manual”.

But that doesn’t change the fact you’re lazy. And a liar.

Manual drivers have a better ability to ascertain the truth, because their brains are more stimulated by increased cognitive function. The frontal lobes are also associated with an ability to read minute changes in body language.

But I digress.

With the vast majority of cars sold in Australia – and increasingly globally – being fitted with automatic transmissions, more and more drivers never need worry about shifting gears if they so choose. The global population of motorists is slowly but surely becoming dumber and more selfish.

Technology can be good, but in this case it’s a problem.

Bluetooth-controlled trolley coasters, self-learning mechanised toilets, smart TVs that double as therapists… We’re so advanced as a race now that automatic transmissions are brilliant, on the road, racetrack or even off-road. I will admit the progress that’s been made is impressive.

But automatic transmissions also make for lazy drivers.

When the switch to autonomous, homogenous blob cars arrives this will be a moot point, but for now, manual car drivers are better people.

I learnt to drive in a car with a manual transmission and the first few cars I drove around in (not mine, I must confess) were manuals, before I discovered automatic transmissions.

My 18-year-old brain clearly remembers thinking, “Why change gears if a computer or reactive mechanism can do it for me?” Ha! It was a revelation.

It allowed for many great things to be done while driving – many of them dubious, some of them illegal – but it made me lazy and a more dangerous road user.

It’s been argued on this very website that manuals are naff. Former technical editor Ken Gratton was not incorrect to make the assertion: “I can get from point A to B faster with an auto.”

That may be so, Kenny old mate, but it will ruin your love life.

Editor’s note: This is an updated version of Feann’s original rant first published on 7/04/2018.