Why we should be kinder on the roads

I regularly see people wearing tshirts with messages of kindness. You know, the ‘Be kind’, or ‘Kind people are my kinda people’ type of shirts. Interestingly though, on car bumper stickers I see phrases like ‘back off,’ ‘if you’re reading this, you’re too close’, or ‘the closer you follow, the slower I will go.’

And while these more aggressive messages aren’t what I enjoy reading while taking my kids to swimming lessons, they are unfortunately a pretty accurate representation of what driving is like – roads filled with angry, unkind people.

If it’s not in your face bumper stickers like this (or worse), it is the actual driving behaviour of many who for whatever reason believe being unkind to others is their right.

But it’s not. Your car isn’t an invisibility shield that allows you to do whatever you want, without any thought to how your decisions impact others.

Nope, we can still see you, we know you are in there and when you do inconsiderate things, it isn’t nice, and it does affect us.

For reference, I mean – when you honk your horn because we didn’t hit the accelerator the microsecond the light turned green, or despite seeing our indicator to turn into a car park, ignoring it and taking it anyway, or (my favourite) yelling something out at us as you speed off down the road once you have passed us.

Truth be told though, it isn’t just this particular group of drivers who could do with amping up the kindness, it is nearly everyone, yep, even me.

Because speaking for myself, while it is easy to blame the super aggressive drivers for making the roads such an unkind place to be, they only make up a small percentage of the people on our roads. Mostly, it is the average Joe, people like you and me, who may not wear the tshirts spruiking kindness but who are generally nice, considerate people.

Yes, it’s us that can sometimes toot our horn, shake our head or raise our hands in frustration at other drivers who have made a mistake, forget to indicate when coming off a roundabout or switching lanes, or don’t dim our high beams for oncoming traffic, all of which are inconsiderate and unkind to other road users.

This behaviour also carries over from the roads into any other vehicle specific places too. From carparks, car washes, drive-thrus, drive-ins, school pick up lanes, you name it, it happens, intentionally or not.

My worst experience with this driving unkindness, happened nearly 20 years ago when I parked in my neighbour’s designated carpark without asking.

For the record, I note that doing this was unkind.

Perhaps unkinder though was my neighbour’s reaction, or should I say, retaliation, which involved supergluing my windscreen wipers and door locks. Very unkind (not to mention dangerous when I went to use my wipers during a storm, and they did not work).

Being unkind, especially when it’s the more minor things, might not seem like the biggest deal at the time but like my example, they can also be dangerous and have long lasting effects.

It can also manifest into road rage, but even if it doesn’t get that far it makes the roads an angrier and more reactive place, a place where accidents are more likely to happen.

Unkindness on our roads also sets a bad example for our children because our driving behaviour highly influences the type of driver they will become in the future. Research conducted by the TAC found significant links between parents’ driving styles and the style demonstrated by their children a year after gaining their licence, especially for aggressive styles.

Clearly, there are lots of reasons to be kinder on our roads, maybe we need to make a bumper sticker about that?

Related: The moment I realised that I needed to combat my road rage

Related: Tips for beating car park rage

Related: Have unforgiving drivers killed off the courtesy wave?