Holden Spark LT 2016 Review

Holden Spark LT
Road Test

Given I sit squarely within Holden’s target market for the Spark (young professional female) I jumped behind the wheel expecting, no, knowing I would love it.

I mean, for God’s sake, the whole ad campaign for the car is centred on the ‘Spark Tribe’, a group of successful women in their 20s doing things like using organic body scrubs and wearing active-wear. I love using organic body scrubs and wearing active-wear, sometimes at the same time (although it can get messy).

On face value, it was love. Cute isn’t quite the word for the Spark’s perky, pint-sized exterior. Adorable is more suitable. I nicknamed my bright green version Kermit.

Inside, the design feels fairly fancy until you realise those “leather” seats are actually vinyl and some of the finishes are a bit plasticky. There’s a strange hexagonal pattern across the dashboard that is clearly attempting to be modern and chic, but instead looks like the bathroom tiles in a suburban café.

On the plus side, there’s plenty of storage for female things like hair clips, lip-gloss, bubblegum, emotions and sparkles.

Kermit and I hit the roads of inner-city Melbourne to search for skinny flat whites and frozen yoghurt (aka fro-yo) like all good women my age, and it was at this point that some of his appeal started to wear off.

In his defense, Kermit has a surprising sturdiness to him given his size, but that sturdiness can also translate to sluggishness. An attempt to pull-out onto a main road nearly ended in tragedy when the car laboured up to speed, meaning I was left languishing as oncoming traffic approached. Thankfully, the accelerator fully kicked in just in time, but the lag left me feeling a little nervous.

I won’t lie, driving around in my active-wear (post organic body scrub session, of course) and singing along to Beyonce, I felt vaguely ditzy, as if somehow my fellow drivers would take me less seriously because my car was the size and colour of a frozen pea.

This feeling was only exacerbated when I went to open the back door and realised I didn’t know how. The Spark’s large door handles are hidden at the top of the door, like some kind of bizarre intelligence test. Needless to say, I failed.

Holden has made up for this strange door design decision by including a back seat that’s roomy for a car in the micro-passenger sector and a boot that’s similarly satisfactory.

Often, I find smaller cars make me feel claustrophobic. This isn’t a problem in the Spark – one of its main drawcards. However, I’ve certainly driven far larger cars that felt a lot more nimble on the road. Call it PMS (Post Mazda Sentimentality) but some of the Spark’s more sluggish moments had me longing for the unexpected zippiness of the CX-5 I drove a couple of months ago.

I drove the LT version of the Spark, which is priced at $5000 more than the entry-level LS. For that fee you could either get a few designer handbags (women love handbags, according to every marketing expert ever) or you can get keyless entry, push-button ignition, a leather-wrapped steering wheel, parking sensors, a reverse camera and cruise control.

Just this once, I’d say the handbags might be a better investment. I’ve never particularly thought of keyless entry and push-button ignition as “benefits”. I like a more tactile experience that makes me feel like I’m actually driving, rather than getting in an elevator.

Plus, aren’t parking sensors and a reverse camera pretty much the norm in all cars these days? Okay, that’s an overstatement but I caught myself getting annoyed the headlights weren’t automatic. How very millennial of me.

I was impressed, however, with the very seamless pairing of my phone via Bluetooth and the highly effective climate control system. Granted, it doesn’t have to work very hard to warm the entire car, but it does a good job regardless.

As for the parking sensors and reverse camera, they worked a treat but, c’mon, the car is tiny. If you can’t park that without help then maybe you shouldn’t be allowed to drive.

Speaking of parking, I loved how the radio stayed on after the engine was turned off until I opened the door. It allowed for post-parking dance parties (mid-parking dance parties not advised).

For my week of city driving, the trip computer had me clocking a fuel consumption figure of 8.1L/100km, which was substantially higher than the advertised 5.5L.

At nearly $19,000 it’s also at the higher end of the micro passenger price bracket. There’s a risk buyers might be left with that feeling you get when you splurge on a meal at a fancy restaurant only to leave hungry and then notice there’s a delicious, affordable burger joint right next door.

So, the Spark and I didn’t exactly hit it off. This very fact had me questioning my own femininity. It’s certainly a contender in its field but I can’t quite figure out what its point of difference is, aside from the very cute moniker.

If a recruiter for the Spark Tribe comes knocking, can you tell them I’m too busy eating fro-yo to join the fan club?

2016 Holden Spark LT pricing and specifications:
Price: $18,990 (plus on-road costs)
Engine: 1.4-litre four-cylinder petrol
Output: 78kW/128Nm
Transmission: Continuously variable
Fuel: 5.5L/100km (ADR Combined)
CO2: 166g/km (ADR Combined)
Safety Rating: Five-star ANCAP

Also consider:
>> Mistubishi Mirage (from $11,990 plus ORCs)
>> Nissan Micra (from $13,490 plus ORCs)
>> Honda Jazz (from $14,990 plus ORCs)