The moment I realised that I needed to combat my road rage

I looked up into my rear vision mirror to see the culprit behind me, bordering on tailgating territory for a few seconds before abruptly changing lanes (without indicating of course) to overtake me. The driver then put his foot to the floor and passed me, narrowly missing the front of my car as it returned into the same lane in front.

"You bloody idiot!" I yelled as I slammed my fist down on the horn.

Then, as the volume of the car’s engine decreased as it took off down the road, I heard the sound of my two children from the backseat.

"What an idiot,” sung the duet of my two primary school aged daughters shaking their heads in frustration.

Internally, I let out another choice profanity as I remembered, oh yes, my kids are in the car too and yes, they just saw and heard all of that.

Then, as if she knew I needed to have that important point drummed home, my youngest said to me, “give the horn another toot.”

This was not only the moment that the anger I felt toward the erratic driver turned into anger onto myself but the moment I realised that I really needed to combat my road rage. 

While thankfully no one was hurt in this situation, it was clear to me that my driving actions (both good and the bad) are being observed by my kids all the time (even if I forget they’re there).

 And it seems that I am not the only parent who has been in this position.

 In fact, a NRMA survey of motorists found that more than 70 per cent have been exposed to road rage; and almost one quarter of incidents occurred when children under the age of 15 were present. Meaning our kids are regularly witnessing poor driving behaviour by their parents or responsible adults.

The survey also found one in five motorists admitted to committing road rage – the majority (75 per cent) leant on the horn (guilty); 44 per cent used a hand gesture and almost one third (31 per cent) mouthed abuse (oh dear me, literally).

NRMA spokesman Peter Khoury said no form of road rage was acceptable, especially when children were present.

“It’s frightening how quickly a moment of road rage can escalate into an impulse action that has the potential to ruin lives. It’s especially concerning that so many motorists are behaving this way with children in the car. It obviously causes great distress, but also sets a terrible example,” he added.

Guilty.

Dr Amanda Stephens, Research Fellow Monash University Accident Research

Centre (MUARC) said “the solution to avoiding anger and aggression is individual.

Being aggressive often doesn’t reduce anger – in fact, it can lead us to ruminate on the situation often to the point of distraction. When we are angry, we are also more likely to think other drivers are being angry or aggressive toward us.”

She also says that “remembering that other road users may not be aggressive, they might just be making a mistake” is something to keep in mind when driving.

And a tip from me, it is also helpful to remember when your kids are in the car!

Related: A 12-hour road trip with my kids nearly killed me

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Related: Five bad driving habits that need to stop for the sake of your passengers