What BMW ConnectedDrive will bring to 5 Series

Lots of car companies are working on highly sophisticated systems that connect the driver to the car, and the car to the world, but usually the driver has to have a PhD in computer science – and a linguistics degree – to make sense of it all.

Not so with the latest 5 Series, if you care to take BMW's product training guru, Sven Arens, at his word.

Out here for the preview of the new G30 generation, Arens took a select few journalists through some of the more arcane features of the car – most of which have electronics and some element of wireless connection in common, starting with a function that allows you to cyberstalk your own car!

"Thanks to ConnectedDrive, and a new ConnectedDrive app that we have, your car can send you an image – every three minutes – which you can rotate, and tilt, and see, if there's any object right next to your car... if somebody's blocking you or not," Arens explained.

"Your car sends to your phone an image of itself – with the Top View – to your phone, so you can see if somebody's blocking [you]..."

Asked whether the system would help you pursue the ungodly who leave 'twenty-cent pinstripes' in the side of your car, Arens admitted that the system wasn't intended for security monitoring as such.

"It's not fast enough for that to do, because it's one image every three minutes.

"And the reason we don't want that? It's because of laws throughout the world. The police and the insurance companies do not want you to intervene yourself. They don't want you to do the tracking and tracing of your car; they don't want you to see if vandalism is being done to one of your properties – like your car."

Seems like an opportunity missed, your humble motoring.com.au correspondent suggested.

"In Minority Report," Arens responded, "you can actually intervene before the event is happening. Unfortunately, our laws don't play that way. The event has to happen before they can do something."

Local product planning manager Shawn Ticehurst suggested it may be a means of ensuring the environment was safe and well lit beforehand if your spouse should be planning to take the car for a drive. This prompted some of the more cynical among the journalists gathered to wonder whether it might be a highly effective means of collecting documentary evidence on the same spouse's movements for legal reasons...

Another feature of the car that Arens recommends is what we'll call the electronic tour guide.

"ConnectedDrive is one of those features that makes life really easy," the BMW exec explained. "When I have an appointment somewhere, the night before I sit behind my computer and send the address to the car.

"With the new app that we have, we actually go one step further. You take your phone, fill out the address you need to be – and set the time at which you need to arrive there.

"Base on traffic information, based on the time of arrival and the distance you need to cover, the car will actually send you a message: 'It's now time to leave comfortably'.

"Then a second message: 'It is now time to leave... but leave now'

"This is one step closer to the ultimate form of mobility.

"The third step would be the car would tell you: 'With me, you can't get there on time, you now need to take the train'..."

After one wag suggested the car could attend the appointment by itself as a fourth step, Arens seamlessly segued to a new subject.

"Speaking of which, that brings us to our driving-assistance systems. With the driving assistant plus, we've got everything on board for self-driving capabilities. We have front cross-traffic collision warning, we have active cruise control... we have speed-limit information, we have lane-keeping assist. As long as there are lines on the road, the car will actually read the lines and keep the car right in the middle of the lane.

"Technically, you can release the steering wheel for about 10 seconds and the car will continue straight ahead... technically. But we don't want that to happen, we want people to keep their hands on the steering wheel.

"The car can actually detect when a car in the lane next to you is doing some stupid things... and coming too close to you; your car will actually seek the outside of its lane in order to prevent an accident from happening.

"We have rear-side collision prevention as well. You back out of a parking space, you didn't see that car coming, your car will stop.

"In Europe we are actually also able to help you change lanes. The car can change lanes by itself. So we are very close to the self-driving car.

"But legislation so far prevents us from doing so; that's why we're not offering the possibility."

One thing that BMW will be able to offer Aussie motorists with the new 5 Series is self parking.

"Not even two years ago, I was in Munich," says Arens. I parked at the airport, picking up somebody. I came back; two people had parked next to me, so close it was impossible for me to get into my car. I had to wait for 20 minutes until one of the other two showed up and drove off, before I could get in my car.

"With the remote control parking, none of those problems...

"You start your car, you drive the car out, get in and drive off... forward or even rearwards."

This facility is definitely one we'll now see in the local market.

"We just had approval for Australia, that we are allowed to use it as well," Arens confirmed. "That's a big step as well."

Playing to his audience, the BMW trainer moved on to Personal Profile, which is apparently not something widely known outside the inner sanctum of BMW, but could be a boon for journalists who only test drive BMWs.

"One of those features that nobody ever talks about – [and] I hate to say, even our salesmen – in our car we have what is called 'Personal Profile'," Arens continued.

"For future reference, the next time you get into a BMW, take a USB stick with you, put it in the USB [port], program your profile – meaning your preferred settings for seats, mirrors, air conditioning, even your... shortcuts, the eight that you see on the dashboard – program them very quickly into the USB key and take that USB key anywhere in the world...

"Go to Munich, rent a BMW – but it's not a 5 Series, it's an X5...

"Not a problem, it has an algorithm built into it that it will actually adjust the seating position in the X5 reminiscent of the one that you have in the 5 Series.

"But it's left-hand drive...

"Not a problem, everything will be mirrored.

"Now how convenient is that for those business travellers who travel all over the world? Get your USB key from a BMW, take it with you, everywhere in the world, and program your car in a heartbeat. And you feel like you're at home again."

Another feature that Arens likes automatically connects a destination programmed into a smartphone, either through a BMW app or Apple Maps with 'BMW Connected', into the satellite navigation system.

"You open the car, step in the car, and immediately, your navigation will select that address that you have just programmed.

"That is convenience; that is technology at the assistance of mankind – not superficial."

The subject of convenience – for anyone who regularly spends a lot of time travelling around the greater Melbourne metropolitan area – brought to the fore traffic sign recognition. This feature, which was announced with some fanfare in 2009, but delayed an extra year, then available, and then unavailable when BMW owners complained that it was fallible, before being explained away as a problem specific to the Australian market is now offered in the local market once more. Arens is as confident as Bullwinkle the moose... this time, for sure.

"The reason why it will happen now is because we have programmed it in through the navigation... and it's also linked to the clock of the car. So it can detect one of the problems we had in the past, recognising school zones – and also the large signs on the back of the trucks, but that has now been solved."

And with a couple of false starts now behind it, hopefully it's a case of all's well that ends well for BMW.