Why the best parenting moments happen in the car

5.6 hours per week is the average amount of time parents spend driving kids to and from sporting commitments. When I came across this stat recently, while I wasn’t overly surprised, I realised that these 5.6 hours a week are just sports, so whatever maths there is about all the other taxiing parents do, the equation will always equal, a lot of bloody time in the car with your kids.

As most parents will know, this situation isn’t always like an episode of Carpool Karaoke and it can sometimes get a bit exhausting – the to and from, here and there but it is also, I’ve found, where some of the best parenting moments happen.

In my case, this has a lot to do with the absence of devices which, unless we are going on a long road trip, the kids aren’t permitted to use in the car. This means they are present (which let’s be honest, these days is no small feat).

And with a present child(ren) and you, this can often mean actual proper conversations (I like to celebrate the small things)!

For some reason, perhaps it is the side-by-side, or back-and-front seating positions that take away the eye contact and possibly, also the pressure of a face-to-face conversation. Car chats are usually genuine and naturally occurring, but they can also often become meaningful too.

With the pressure off, it is often the time when my daughters will share with me any anxieties they have about school, friends, or things they are worried about, even dreaded ‘embarrassing’ topics that they’d normally otherwise avoid like the plague (you know puberty and romance, all that ‘stuff’).

We also have conversations about the deeper topics of life. I will get asked questions about anything from, “Why do we die?” to, “What came first, the chicken or the egg?“ and then we will discuss the theories and add in our own two cents.

I learn more about what they are interested in, and what is popular (which seems to change more quickly than which celebrity has just been cancelled); it is just a time and environment that allows us all to be relaxed and open up.

And then, when you arrive at your destination, the cone of silence AKA the car, where secrets are shared and kept and important discussions are had, well they finish up, or are paused until next time and there is a sense of safety and security in this.

But aside from important conversations, memorable yet simple, fun light-hearted moments are often experienced between my children and me in the car.

Whether it is a sing-along session with whoever is ‘cool’ at that point in time (which has ranged from the Frozen or Moama soundtracks, The Wiggles, to now Olivia Rodrigo and Taylor Swift) and sometimes if I’m lucky, my own choice.

And there are the games.

We listen to family trivia podcasts and battle it out for the most correct answers (which does not always end without tears), and we play old-school Eye Spy, the License Plate Game, and Spotto. While the overly competitive family members can occasionally get a bit overzealous, for the most part, these games are just light-hearted fun, filled with laughter and become bonding moments.

While I still hear the dreaded, “Are we there yet?” from time to time, usually, our car trips (especially the shorter ones) are some of my favourite minutes of the day because I know I will be in the company of my favourite people, that there will be no distraction by iPads and that we will actually spend quality time together and what is better than that?

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