carsales Drive-Thru car chats with Darren Palmer

Chatting to carsales Palmer says he is “100 per cent, absolutely” a car guy and his long-suffering and deep-seeded love of Audis is proof of this. It was an Audi A4 cabriolet that Palmer spotted while skiing in Austria that set the ball rolling. So in 2016 when the prestige carmaker approached him to become the brand’s first design ambassador in Australia, it really was a dream come true.

Palmer along with his husband Olivier, their son and three dogs - Brutus the English bulldog, Frankie the French bulldog and Razzie a Brussels Griffon – currently enjoy the versatility of an Audi Q8, with a new rip-snorting RS5 lurking in the wings.

Palmer’s eye for detail and restrained design aesthetic fits hand in glove with Audi’s design ethos, something that Palmer says inspires his true admiration for the brand as he chats candidly about his journey so far.

“A 1983 metallic silver/blue Celica. Two-cylinder engine, five-speed. It was a cool car.”

“Oh god, I mean it’s a checkered history until I get to Audi I’ve got to say. I had an XF Falcon Fairmont which is what I arrived in Sydney in with every belonging I owned in that car on December 31, 1999. I arrived here for the millennium party and then I changed to a Holden Astra and then I changed to a VZ Holden Commodore ute!”

“Dad. He was meticulous about his cars. He had an old Dodge ute, sort of the same era model as the Charger. It was a piece of crap car and he lovingly restored it and fixed all the panel work himself because he was a boilermaker. He re-sprayed it and made it a much better looking car. But it was still daggy.”

"Yes. I learnt in Dad’s ute. I’d be bunny hopping this thing out the back roads of where I grew up. This poor old car, having to deal with 16 year old me trying to drive!”

“Who didn’t grow up in the '80s and not want to be like the Knight Rider, come on. I was not the batmobile kind of guy I was Knight Rider. I wanted KITT. I had the model cars and I’d play with it.”

“Did I do road trips - oh my god! I grew up in central Queensland and Queensland, people don’t understand, is massive, it’s a giant state. So when you say central people think you mean Brisbane or Sunshine Coast. No. I grew up in the middle. My Mum’s family are from northern New South Wales and Dad’s are from a town near Cairns so to get to either of their families we had to drive for basically a day. I remember my sister would get the back seat so she would sleep on that. They would pack the footwell and I’d lay where your feet would be. It’d be hot and I’d be sweltering! I remember a lot of Australia around that area looks exactly the same for a really long time! Man, did we do car trips. Twice a year at least like that.

"I’ll share a funny family road trip story. It’ so bad, it’s funny. We’re in the middle of nowhere, near Gladstone I think, at a service station [toilet stop] and I came out and there was no car. I was like ummmm, then I look off in the distance and the red brake lights go on and dust and smoke comes from the brakes and the car drives around and comes back. And I’m like wait, what???? I was about ten or twelve and a bit teary! Apparently, my sister was in the back seat saying hurry up Darren under her breath, so my Dad thought I was in the car and he drove off!”

“I would say 10 except I’ve seen those videos where people drive sideways into parks and I figure that’s a 10. Doing a drift handbrake into a parking spot, that’s a 10. So I would say I’m a solid nine. I can get into most reverse parks within a few inches. I can get into a nice tight spot.”

“It’s actually pretty good. Yes. Ummm I just opening it up to see what year it’s from. I mean it looks like me with worse hair. It’s not bad. Seven.”

“It’s the latter! [laughs] I’m not a jerk… but maybe I am!? I just think it’s smart.”

“Ok. I married someone like that but I drive brand new cars so I never let them get below halfway. Often I’ll get in the car after Olivier has had it and I’m like babe, why is the red light on?”

“I can’t wait to get my hands on the [Audi] e-tron. I want the e-tron GT. I think it’s the coolest car.”

“I mean my husband, right. Because he’s my favourite person in the whole world.”

“It’s honestly impossible to say. My musical tastes are broad, totally broad. Look, one of the things that are always fun that we like to listen to are female diva classics that you can belt out like Whitney Houston. So we quite like to sing I Will Always Love You, but really really badly. Then there’s Celine Dion and any of those big songs. Turn it up and belt it out. I’m not cool at all.”

“Geez, it’s hard to go past James Bond. Just because of the tech. Who doesn’t want an invisible car or rocket launchers and guns built into the front - who doesn’t want that? I think it’s pretty hard to go past Bond for integration of cars into movies authentically. I know there are other classic car chase scenes but James Bond aligns to my values fairly well.

"There’s even an A5 coupe chasing a motorcycle through backstreets somewhere in one [film]. I think it does spin and end up on its back… [laughs].”

“Audi interiors are like Apple products. Everything works the way you expect it to work – intuitively, and that comes with a great deal of refinement. They work and work and rework until they get the most pure form of something – exterior and interior.”

“I wouldn’t live without the lane assist and cruise control. That just makes driving everyday so easy, so straight forward – you can be in a traffic jam and just let the car do its thing, which is amazing. Highway drives are easier. It's not necessarily performance-based [feature] but it makes the car a joy to drive when it can [otherwise] be a pain. And I know this sounds dumb, but airrated [ventilated] seats are the best thing for Australian summers, because of leather seats! It means you don’t sweat. It’s the best. I love the new virtual cockpit, too.”

“Honestly if Audi hasn’t already thought of it I’m certainly not going to. I had an RS5 for a year before I realised it massaged me while I drove. It had the three different levels of intensity of massage. I was like OMG I didn’t know!”

Uber

Back seat

“Mine is 4.69 and my husband is 4.83… he uses it more than me but it does go a long way to explain things - he’s super lovely and I’m the difficult one. It’s not just that though, I’ll either be working or tired from coming or going. I’m usually quiet or trying to shut my eyes.”

"No. No way. I just don’t get it. I think they are beautiful design objects but they do not have personalities and are not to be named. No. An emphatic no."

“No. Thank goodness!”

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